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Millwoods Acupuncture Center
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Edmonton AB,   Canada

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Chinese medicine: its past, present and future

Author: Ai Ning (China)

Chapter 1: My mother

My mother is a doctor in the Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

From the time I can remember, my mother was around by a lot of patients. They came and sat down in front of her, speaking nothing, stretching out their arm to her – they wanted her to feel their pulses and tell what was wrong with them. So, she felt their pulse. She felt the left hand, the right one, and looked at their tongues……

It looks as a test. Yes. It is. I guess in the whole world, only the patients in China can dominate the whole medical diagnosis course, though it is them who came to seek help but it is them who tested the ability and skill of the doctor first.

These patients might know nothing about the medicine, but they are the General, or the Master examiner in the whole course, because they knew what is wrong with their body, and they knew the answer to the test.

After assessment, it was the time for my mother to answer the tests. She told out, one by one, the symptom, the patients’ feeling, the reason, the pathological mechanism… The patients listened carefully, smiled along with my mothers talking, and finally said, “Very good, that’s right, you are so good at the pulse feeling! So good! You are my doctor from now. Let's continue with the treatment, please.”

It is no wonder that the Chinese medicine is regarded as a kind of witchcraft by some people in the western world. For western medicine, the doctor asks symptom pretty briefly. He needs more lab tests, X-ray tests, and so on for a diagnosis. Some times, they need to cut some tissue from the body to have a biopsy test. Or, they need to cut and open the abdomen to have a look what’s wrong there. They need to clearly “see” the “disease” before they start any treatment. They regard this a scientific way, a scientific course in medicine, a “right” way to treat a disease. 

For doctor in the Chinese medicine, they will be asked, from the western medicine point of view, did you see the “disease”? This “disease” refers to exact diseased location, the lesion, the virus, the bacteria, e.g. a concrete mass. To them, the “disease” can be seen, can be taken out, and can be tested. If the Chinese medicine cannot ‘see” the disease, the doctor is regarded to “guess” the disease. However, my mother can guess it precisely. She can not only guess the disease by feeling the pulse, but also guess when and what disease will happen in nearly future. On spring, my mother wrote a prescription based on her perception to the weather, the Qi in the nature at that time. She then asked me to prepare the herbs, to prepare the herbal products (the pills, the tablets, the powder, etc.), to make everything ready before the real coming of the disease. She said: it would be too late if we prepare it when the disease real comes. 

On one spring, my mother pushed me to do the same thing. However, in my deep memory is what she told me, that there would be lots of kids ill in that spring. The kids would have fever and asthma. They would have high fever so that their face would be very red in color on one side of face, but pale on another side. I cannot believe:  how could the kids have one side of their face red and another pale? I never noticed such phenomenon. My mother pointed one herb ingredient in her formula, and told me that one was the spirit and key herb in the formula.

Before the patients arrived, she wrote out another herbal formula and asked me to prepare. She said, once the disease started to spread, some would come to see the Chinese medicine, some would go to the hospital. The kids who eventually left the hospital would be pale and blue with purple tints in their small face, weak, dislike food, no willing to eat, scaring at night… Some of them would eventually came to the Chinese medicine. This formula was prepared for them.

When I prepared the second formula, the first group of sick kids came. To my great surprise, every kid had high fever with asthma, and one side of their face was red and another side was pale!  The numbers of the sick kids were so much that I became a pharmacological technician, busy to distribute the herbs. Pretty soon, the herbs were used up. I had to hurry up to prepare more herbs. At this time, the kids who had visited hospital now came to our clinic. They cried and cried, with pale faces. I started to distribute the second herb formula. After finished all the herbs, that spring went away. 

For the current Chinese medicine, they no longer work in the same way as my mother to treat series of patients. The current diseases, the infectious diseases, the Wenyi disease, all are the diseases that my mother must know and be able to perception before they come. In clinic work, my mother was almost a general in a war, knowing where is the main battle field, where is secondary field…  She not only treated patient individually, but also in groups, so to be able to control the overall trends of the disease. However, from so called scientific point of view, what is the logic and what is the reason for my mother to do so? Is this not  a way to “guess” disease? The current doctor works to consult each patient, one by one. They believe this is the way of science. My mother not only knew the trends of a disease, but also was able to predict a coming disease based on the person’s life style. She knew who will get what kind of disease, so to make the herbs ready to wait for them.

In autumn, my mother was ready for the herbs, the movement the patient came. When some patients asked why he or she got that disease, my mother said: “You is rich with good living condition and you prepared for the winter too early. You closed window, when it was only at October 1 and started the fire warming to the rooms so early…” The patient surprised: “how do you know this? It is true. We closed the windows very early last year.”

Chapter 2: Birth deliver in hospital

When see a patient, my mother could not only speak out the patient’s symptoms, but also his life style, diet habit and temple pattern. In addition, she again told the patient, if he refused to change his life style, to change emotion, but only depended on the medicine to maintain the previous life style, she would refuse to treat him. Nowadays, many people on one side to take lots medication, and on another side eat lots and drink lots, drink lots of liquor. All of these were hated by my mother. She thought that such life style is very harmful.

Many people came to my mother for help. Many of them respected her to a very high level, nearly to a superstition. However, when I was young, I myself didn’t have such wondering feeling to her. I respected and believed science. This was due to the influence from my father. He respected and believed science very much. My father was a fan of the science. He always paid attention to the advance of science, and felt exciting to that achievement. I was wondered by the picture that my father described to me, believing science could solve, without limitation, all problems in human life. If some problem had not been solved, it was only a problem of a time.

Western medicine is the super representative of science in the medical society. 

My father told me: before the development of Penicillin, there were lots of dead kids who were thrown away in the field in spring season. Their number was much more than the grass piles in the field. Now, look at the high increasing population, it is the results of the protection of the western medicine. Before, a man worried more about the “before the car and behind the horse” and a woman worried more about “before the birth delivery and after the delivery”.  Now, the western medicine solved this problem faster and more effective than the Traditional Chinese Medicine. I agreed with my father.

When I was free, I liked to stroll around a hospital, as strolled around a shopping center. The hospital is exactly a scientific technology exhibition center. It is amazing to see the super testing and examination techniques there. I saw some machine called what what muscle electric detection, what what big radiation machine, in a provincial hospital. But when I went to hospital in Beijing, the doctors there shaved their hands: “Have a gene test.” There were no any Chinese characters on the examination report sheet, but all thickly dotted English letters, Arabic fingers, symbols, attached with colorful gene picture. I knew nothing about it but I looked it for a pretty long time. I was strongly shacked and wondered by this super technology of science. How could I not prevent myself from shifting from the Chinese medicine? The hospital of the western medicine was so beautiful, huge, and bright. No matter if the disease could be solved or not in such a heven place, there should have no pity to die there after being checked one by one by such beautiful machines. Because this is the course of disease “treatment”, and all of the reports are now in your own hands, you know the “results”, you “know” what it is in your body, you can even “see” the tumors from the X-ray films, or computer screens. Can the Chinese medicine do the same way? What machine your Chinese medicine has? All the Chinese medicine has is the three fingers. My mother said: “Travel around the world with three fingers”. My mother just saw patients at home. Later when she was sick, she felt the pulse of patients (to make diagnosis) when she lied down on bed.

The therapy in the western medicine is more marvelous. I have had been in a waiting room of a hospital waiting for a specialist. The nurse told me, he “makes hole”. After a while, she came out and told me: “He is making a channel.”. Then, “He is setting up a bridge.” I felt that this specialist was an engineer. He was building a new railway stem road. On the other side, it is not over-stated to make a comment that the Chinese medicine is very primitive. The technique used in acupuncture is simply acupuncture needle, Guasha plate, and cupping cups. Many other Chinese medicine doctors even do not use these, but herbs. One of local herbalists told me that the herbs growing in the local area are enough to cure most kinds of diseases in that area. If I was very sick and I was given the herb tea that were cooked from the herbs that grown in front of my door, how could I feel that I got a very serious disease and felt that I was help by a “treatment”?

I had a friend. She told me her experience in Australia to give a birth deliver.  Her story made me stunned and I felt that the baby delivery was not at all a natural course, but a high science technique to launch an air craft to Mars.  She first described the exam before the delivery. I said: “Well, you cannot escape from surgical operation there.” 

She said: “Yes, but they said the surgery IS needed.”

The western medicine doctor also consider your human need, so they only cut the skin on your lower abdomen and the cutting is a curving shape, not a linear shape, so that you could still wear the Bikini later. She said: the room temperature in the operation room was very low so to reduce the chance for a bacteria infection. And she was given a cold water shower.

I said: “Well, you must have a fever then.”

She said: “But they said this is also a NEEDED procedure.”

Her answer makes me complain incessantly. Who said that a baby delivery must have a fever to follow? The doctors give her an intravenous infusion before she has a fever, so to prevent any possible fever that may cause death.

After listening to her about the way to use the medication and the diet, I said: “My God, you must have no any breast milk.”

She said: “They said, this is also NORMAL.”

Thanks for the facility in the western medicine in which everything has been considered, so it is not a big problem to feed a baby. If the mother has no breast milk, there is milk formula for the baby. I told her, she indeed enjoyed the scientific technology serves of western medicine. However, she did not get any benefit beside so many non-necessary “treatments”.  I believe and respect science, however I haven’t come to the extent to enjoy the high science technology, so to hand myself, by my own willingness, to a doctor to “manage.”


Chapter 3: Multiple therapies by Chinese

Nowadays, people develop addictive to the “treatment” by medicine. The believing in the science makes people no longer able to “be the boss of my own body.”  Every year, upon the movement of annual physical check, there will be a peak of medical treatment, since there is no one “without healthy problem”. One of my colleagues has her uterus removed according to the suggestion of doctor; has her appendix cut; has her gall bladder cut; has her tonsil, her tooth decay… Her doctor told her, she should have all the moles in her skin cut, to prevent skin cancer.

Doctor appears idiom, shaking my exam report sheet. I said: what else medical detection instrument you have? Whatever disease your machine can detect, I will have that disease. The extent of my disease is parallel to the capacity of your machine. According to the doctor, they need to treat me so that every parameter detected should be at an average level of all people.  

The scientific technology in the western medicine is so advanced, that the treatment by western medicine is a kind of exhibition of science technology. However, when looking from the primitive and less advanced Traditional Chinese medicine point of view, the western medicine is pretty childish as stupid.

There is a newest science report from USA. It reported that scientists found that the survival rate of a premature baby is very low when they are kept in warm incubation chamber, but much higher if they are kept attaching with the skin of human body. This news makes me pretty dizzy and cannot prevent from laugh. In China, the survival rate for a seven-month premature baby is always high. In the past, people wear lose and thin pants. The mother holds the baby in and against her skin in her abdomen area. The baby is held and fold with the cotton pants. Simply by this way, the baby survived. Now, this is what the US scientist found? It is a scientific new founding?

My mother never struggles against the western medicine, but did not pending from the Traditional Chinese medicine either. On the day at which time the Chinese medicine has been heavily attacked, many Chinese medicine doctor shifted to learn western medicine. But one of my mother’s classmates told her, this is a time of a historical elimination. The remaining ones are the best and the most valuable part of the Chinese medicine.  

Thanks for the fact that, once with an illness, Chinese will try various means to cure their disease from the core of the disease, not satisfies to simply the release of a symptom. They will try lots of medicine: western medicine, Chinese medicine and may use even a witchcraft. I know one witchcraft practitioner, who knows every ward district and the main doctors of every hospital in her city.

Many Chinese people take the comprehensive therapies. They stay in the hospital of western medicine, taking Chinese herbs and having witchcraft symbol under his bed. His family members may in addition to go to a temple… This might be one of the biggest Chinese features? Whenever the various means of the western medicine have been explored without any improvement, the doctor may try to divert the attention of the patients, by suggesting the use of Chinese herbal therapy. If all of these do not work, in some small cities, they may imply “Do you believe in something?” Trust or not, such way works some times. It can some times have a life-saving effect. One cannot prevent from admiring the flexibility of Chinese to reach what they want.  

Quite often, my mother is invited by the relatives of a patient to steal into the hospital, to apply herbs to patient who had brain infection, to use acupuncture to patient who had post-stroke syndrome; and to feel pulse on patients who is declared to die…  She herself does not admit any difference between what she is doing and the witchcraft. Before, I believe that this is because the limitation of my mother to separate a royal medical doctor and a witchcraft. If it were me, I would have felt shame and changed to learn the western medicine. My mother is a simple woman, so simple you can see the bottom of her emotion lake.  Her mind is full of her patients. She does not feel what’s wrong to sneak into hospital at night to see patients.  

My mother had education in the western medicine too. She knew the ways in the western medicine in the diagnosis and treatment and knew how to practice it. She has also several chances to shift to practice western medicine, but she refused with smile. She stick to her Traditional Chinese medicine without any hesitation in mind. Her skill in the Traditional Chinese medicine convinced the people around her and no one can attack her easily. Even if for the person around and close to her, such as me and my mother, have to admire that she often saved the life of patients who have been declared to die by western medicine. Just because I was close to her, I did not feel mysterious to her, though others felt so. When I was young, I only felt the marvelous to the western medicine. Look, the X-ray, the lab tests, and the surgical operations – it is those that should be termed the “medicine”. However, I knew, this medicine does not always succeed.

Quit often, a baby of only several days was brought to my mother. The baby has either spasm, high fever, or was to die. When western medicine faces such small baby, it is difficult for it to use a knife or a claw, and hardly to do anything for the small baby (at that time). My mother use a needle, punched on the small hands, small feet, abdomen, then smear little herb on his little mouth lips, on the head. Later, the baby was survived.  

So, I got an idea of stealing adultery trickery. I thought, the western medicine can be learnt. After learn it, I can practice it. On the other side, the Chinese medicine is not so easy to learn, it is so mysterious. If my mother would agree to teach me her tricks in the Chinese medicine, it should be much faster and easier for me to learn the Chinese medicine. I told my mother how I thought. I imaged that she would be very gland to teach me her skill, due to my willingness to learn the Chinese medicine. However, to my surprised, she said that she would bring her skill to the tomb, rather to teach me.


Chapter 4: Refused by mother

My mother brought out lots of books to me, as much and as high as my body height. She said she want me to read and remember all of the book before teach me. She did not pay much to the way to teach. I thought that she should teach a student, as for a child, with great patience and lure. For me at that time, what I am interested was the science and the “Communist theory”. How could I accept the Yin and Yang; and the Five-element theory? I thought, the modern science must be better than the Yin-Yang theory, than the Five-element theory, to provide a best reference parameter, so to explore a more overall pre-operative assessment to the nature. Yin-Yang and the Five-element theory is a primitive dialectical materialism. They are established by old Chinese without measurement of the nature and by no other choice. Primitive means simple and the modern science will and can eventually replace the old theory. I believe, no one can use the Yin-Yang and the Five-element theory to explore the disease in the lung, when they see a hole on the X-ray film of a lung. No one is to balance so called Yin-Yang, but not to use anti-biotics, if they have already known that the disease is caused by tuberculosis.

At that time, I believed, along with the fast development of the science, the place of the Traditional Chinese medicine will be occupied by the western medicine. If I spent the time, which is used to recite the books in the Chinese Medicine, now to learn the science, I should gain much more. In addition, I cannot study the Yin-Yang and the Five-element theory before deeply study the modern science. Though there has had no saying “the development is the final word” at that time, I believed that the science can eventually solve all problems. So we should pay more attention and spend more effort to develop the science. I have had remembered some books that my mother gave to me, for the herbal nature, the formula, the diagnosis of the Traditional Chinese Medicine. I thought that is enough. However, she said that I had better knowing nothing about the Chinese Medicine than just know so much. The fact that I did not learn the Traditional Chinese Medicine might be due to my too rationalism.

Before the Cultural Revolution, there was a young man who was to die and my mother saved his life. He felt that the Traditional Chinese Medicine was so mysterious. So he followed my mother to learn the Chinese Medicine. He was a very good student. He read and recited all the books that my mother asked him to remember. He was clever, competent, and ambitions. However he did not become a good Chinese medicine doctor for whole his life. Later, he became a manager of a big government-owned manufactory company. At night, when he was at home, there were many people waiting for him for treatment. However, he has no prescription right. I myself have neither a rout to be a doctor. I don’t want to be the same result as that plant manager. This is not as to repairing a machine. Every one can open a repairing shop if he has that skill. Be a doctor, you not only need a skill, but also the authorization from the government for a license. At that time, I had no hope to be a doctor. I have had a chance in deed, I catch it, but my mother forced me to give it up.  

I graduated from middle school when I was 17 years of old. At that time, Zhalong (the name of a small village) is unknown bleak place. In winter of a year, an old women living in a center island of the lake got acute sick. There was no any doctor hundreds of miles around. People have to ride a horse to a military horse farm tens of miles away to ask a veteran. The young veteran hurried to there and saved the urgent condition of the old woman by using the medicine and syringe that is f horse. Later, the veteran came to my mother. My mother gave him some medicine and with that medicine he cured the illness of that old woman, and other many people in that small village. At that movement, the people in that village warmly invited me myself to their village as a “bare-feet” doctor. I considered for a while and finally agreed.

However, my mother strongly disagreed to my decision. That is a very far away village. No any bus or car can go there, and no electric line there. What I am interested is just the far away paradise, with birds ringing and flower everywhere blooming with nice scent smell. It is an ideal heaven isolated from society, and a fantasy world. This is a very good and valuable chance for me to be a doctor again, but my mother blocked me. The chance past.

Though also a doctor, my mother was physically very weak too. She really cannot live without my care. At that years, as an individual, there is no worry about the living, and no need to worry about the no work to do as nowadays. If there were really worry about living at that time, I would have learned the Chinese Medicine[1]. At that time, everyone listened to Chairman Mao, wished to be a useful man to the society. As for people needed to learn some other skills, I indeed learned some skill in medicine. Beside the acupuncture, I learned how to measure blood pressure, to make a vein infusion or muscle injection, as well as kind of ways to use stethoscope.

Mother is not good at talking. She cannot convince me to learn the Chinese Medicine, but argued against me to learn the Chinese from as only a skill. I cannot understand what she was arguing against actually, at that time, nor what she really meant. Jus at that time, I had no wiling to really learn the Chinese Medicine. I thought, I would rather to read lots of new books, than to read lots of old books. I thought, I may not be able to learn something from old book, but I definitely could learn knowledge from new books.

Strictly speaking, my mother is neither a typical doctor in the Traditional Chinese Medicine. At the time she was working, she cannot prevent from influenced by the thinking of the western medicine. She was weak in body condition that is due to her original weakness condition plus later life exhausting condition. On her teenage, she could not even go cross a little high banner. She would fail away after several steps of walking. She had had lost her vision for some time. Since she had a step mother at home, her situation was not good at all at home. It might be due to the nature of living, she crawled to a local famous doctor in Traditional Chinese Medicine, bended to the floor,  nibbled three sounds, swear to learn Traditional Chinese Medicine from him. From then she came into the medicine. It is the Traditional Chinese Medicine that saved her life and gave her a way of earning life too.  


Chapter 5: Mother’s master

When learn the Chinese medicine, she got up at 3 o’clock in the morning, preparing breakfast and reciting lesions. She indeed recited all the books that her coach asked her to remember. At that time, she had no chance to meet the modern science, but she either had time to consider other philosophy. Such one-to-one teaching course set up a very solid base for her later knowledge in the Traditional Chinese Medicine. This is what I and my daughter missed. Therefore from some point of view, now, there is no any more proper environment for learning the Chinese medicine. The mountain peak of the western medicine and the western philosophy and more others now blocks between people and the Chinese medicine. Nowadays, people have to turn a very big curve and spend long time, even a whole generation, to reach the Chinese medicine, as what I experienced.

The way of knowledge transfer from a master to a student in the Chinese medicine makes it unable to educate a large number of students at the same time. To educate Chinese medicine students in school destroys, rather than helps them to learn. First of all, lots of learning courses in the western medicine subjects in the school, occupy the time of the students. Second, the way in the teaching, the books organized and edited scientifically has blocked the students from the thinking ways that Chinese medicine needed. Nowadays, students do not need to recite the lesions in the Traditional Chinese medicine books and literatures. I read some of the text books that translated from the old and original version into the current version. The translation per se is twisting the key meaning of the Chinese medicine and makes the content tints to the western medicine.

My mother recited the old version in Chinese medicine and got education from her master, so she had very solid believing in the Traditional Chinese medicine. Her later life was exactly the passing of her master’s spiritual wealth. I did not meet her master. My mother, because not good at talking, could not describe to me her master either. But from my mother’s way in clinic work, I can recognize her master, as well as the historical roads that Chinese medicine people walked for thousands of years.

My mother was influenced by her master instantly. I have had believed that my mother does not know her master well, since she cannot answer many of my questions about her master when I asked. Her master did not stick to money. For his clinic expertise, it is not difficult for him to be rich at all. But his family, with all eleven persons, lived in a very simple style. This influenced my mother very deep. She believed it was a wrong thing for a doctor to become rich from helping patients.

Whenever there was infectious disease in spreading, my mother and her master distributed herbs to people passing the street, but charged nothing. My mother told me, one year there was a spread of cholera, her master set up a big pot in the street, cooked herbs in it. They also set up lines of wood bed in the street. Once there were people walking near with a rolling, they helped him to lie down on the bed – using guasha therapy, poured the herbs over his body, then gave him a bowl of herbs to drink, so to save a life. All of the family members were there to help … everyone got so tired to death.   

It is impossible and unbelievable for a doctor as my mother’s master, to earn money when patients are in extreme danger in life or when the country is in risk. I guess, her master learned from his own master? Is this a tradition of the Chinese doctors? From my mother’s talk, I did not find any activity from the government at that time when the cholera was spreading. All are done by doctors by them selves, acting the duty of a doctor in saving patient’s life. In the old time, the license of a doctor was not needed to be issued by the government and there was no healthcare system at that time either. According to my daughter, that the Chinese medicine did not develop in the old time is due to the lack of support by the government. I thought, the Chinese medicine doctor, without the support form the government, took the responsibility to maintain the healthcare of the people, if it was not due to their strong spiritual energy, it would be due to what else?

I feel that my mother’s master is very great. In old time, he accepted a girl to be his student. He gave all his books and herb cabinets, half to my mother and half to his sun. My mother kept all of these things in her life. When I was young, I always used the grinder left from her master.  

My mother, who have had such master-educated experience, started to practice Chinese medicine from village to village by walking when she was only twenty years of old. After revolution (year 1949), she went to medical school in western medicine and had medical education. Therefore, when practiced in western medicine, she looked pretty much as every western medicine doctor who had such education in western medicine. She had stereoscope in her neck, used western medicine tablets, and knew how to make injection. However, in her bone, is the Chinese medicine build by her master. This old style Chinese medicine is very different from the current Chinese medicine. When we recall all of these today, there are many valuable implications in it.

In the year 50’, my mother was a doctor in a hospital. She earned more than 90 dollars in hospital per month. At that time, an ordinary labor earned only about 30 dollars per month. Even a technician of eight degree earned only about 60 dollars. However, the hospital was not suitable to her. Or, in another word, the western medicine hospital model was not suitable to her. The way of her practicing medicine is the same way she learned from her master. It is a workshop manner. As I said earlier, she worked according to the weather movement and development. She prepared the herbs ready before an infectious disease starts to spread. But the hospital did not allow her to do so. She used lots and various kinds of herbs, but the hospital only buy limited kinds and amount of herbs for doctor to use. Many of the herbs that my mother used belong to toxic herb. Hospital scared to have them, even though the herbs were distributed through a normal channel and allowed by healthcare authority. In addition, the separation of diseases into different medical departments in a hospital limited her much further more, because she worked in a comprehensive manner. It almost means that her hands and feet were tired up in working in a hospital. For all of these reasons, my mother designed from the hospital and back home to practice in her own family-clinic manner.   


Chapter 6: Moral problem or physical problem?

In my mother’s family workshop, under her guidance, I prepared herbal pills, decoction, powder, paste, herbal wine…..

At that time, I disliked the odors on my body. I felt disappointed for the herbal odor in whole of my body, since most people do not like the herbal odor. I did not expect that, after many years, now every time the movement I go to a Chinese medicine hospital or pass a herbal shop, I will breath deeply the smell of the herbs, just as the people in current time go to oxygen bar, to breath oxygen. The herb smells could open the cells in whole of my body, which might be due to the “toxic” from the herbs in old days. So I am still addictive to that “toxic”.

My mother was very flexible in her clinic work. It was really not suitable for her to work in a hospital. Whenever a middle aged woman brought her sick-look daughter to the clinic, after feeling the pulse, my mother could pulled the woman aside and told her : “You are so careless to your daughter, you need to find a boy friend for her, don’t delay until something really happen…”.

To be honest, my mother was not at suitable to be a matchmaker, but she did not do less in matching for people. Later, I heritage her tradition, matching for people too, science I know well that many girls may make big mistakes and wrong things when they are young. The mistakes may make them regret for whole life. This is not related to their moral at all. If we could help them little, it will help them for whole life. When I read the novel of << Loves >> or another novel << My mother and father >> by Zhang Yimu, what I see is not the love, but estrus, since it is exactly what I saw in my mother’s clinic. When I was very young, I looked the so called love from the medicine point of view, and later, from philosophy, from psychology…

There was a girl named Xiao Zhen. Her sexual reaction was so strong that she did not make my mother and I who helped my mother take less care in heart for her. Her mother had not any other means but beat her. Her reaction and desire to sex is so strong that she cannot at all manage with her any new boy friend. There has been a nice body. She brought him to our home, but feared to have him known by her mother. To help them to be together, my mother left them eating in our home and I accompanied this boy by playing chess. The girl, Xiao Zhen, did not help my mother in cook, but came again and again and stick her body on the body of the boy. At that time, I was only 12 or 13 years of old and I gnashed my teeth in hatred to her.

After lunch, they went out for a walk out of the town. She brought the boy to a coin field, which scared the body away and he then never came back to see her any more. The more she was refused, the more mad she was. People all but my mother laughed at her. Finally, there was look-sick boy, who had had surgical operation before, had no mother or father, and no money at all. He did not run away from her. He was brought to bed by her eventually. This bed was in the girl apartment in a manufactory farm. The other girls, waited upon the proper time when the girl and her body friend were doing that sexual thing, brought the security men of the manufactory, broke the door, blocked them in the room. This girl who was experimented by the God went mad for half of her life. Later, she became a Buddhism nun.  

There were other women, they are frivolous and dissolute. They stared the green light from their eyes when they saw a man. There was such one, who came to see my mother in our home. She said she had dream every night having sex with ghost. One day, my mother was describe herbal formula to her, and there she, saw my father ling down on bed reading a book in inside room, went to my father and wanted to lie down with him. I felt very angry but mother just kept thinking the herb formula, careless of what she was doing.

Mother does not look at the woman’s behavior from the moral point of view. This influenced me. There is no end of estrus for the woman and man. There is no department of Psychology in the Chinese medicine, but she, during her whole life of medicine practice, never excluded such psychological and spiritual diseases from her medicine scope. She did not learn psychology or philosophy. She dealt such clinic problems according to Chinese medicine theory.  

My mother’s view and attitude to such emotional problems is quite different from those of western medicine. I paid lots of attention to the development of western medicine in the study of such emotional and psychological problems. My mother has died for 30 years, during which time, the development of the study in the emotional and psychology is dramatic. However, I noticed, whatever the achievement by them does not exceed what the Chinese medicine reorganization, which my mother practiced.

For the girl Xiao Zhen, my mother knew what happened. For other women, mother knew what’s their problem too.

My mother was very famous in the treatment of infertility. Many people came to her. One day she felt the pulse of a woman, did not write any prescription to her, but only kept talking and chatting with her. At that time, I was not interested to the course of my mother, so I kept reading a book on side. At that time, there is no such concept of a psychological doctor, nor a means of treatment by psychology. The patient was a master of a middle school. She was very elegant. On the chatting, I was scared by her sudden cry with fuss. She clap her hands and cried: “My God, now I understand. The problem for the women with so called moral problem is due to their physiological need?” At that time, there is no concept of “cold sex” yet. My mother found it by feeling the pulse and she is just explaining to her, inducing her. Now the master just understood.  

There was another woman with infertility. Her husband fall love with another woman and wanted to devoice with her. She disagreed, so she was beat by her husband to have three ribs broken. She cried to death. I felt very angry to him. I told my mother this situation. But my mother said, quietly, that that was good to been beaten. They would have baby at the end of the year. Just as my mother said, they had a baby of good health. The couple was very happy and always smiled.   


Chapter 7: The Dross is not a dross?

When I was young, I did not pay much attention to my mother’s understanding to human nature. I though it was a common sense. After I live for some many years, I realized that the current science has no such realization yet. My mother stands on the point of Chinese medicine, her view of point for the human of spirit and human of physical body is not all behind, but more exceeds the current science. There are many things that the current science cannot still explain. Influenced by my mother, later when I work as a representative for women right or lawyer and when I need to defense for women right and royalty, I would not stand on the current women right and law regulation, but mix with the traditional Chinese culture that is well represented by the Traditional Chinese medicine into my work. The Chinese medicine trained my mother a life attitude of following nature, and a easy heart mode. I thought that is also an influence from her master in Chinese medicine. 

Mother said one day, after his 60 years birthday, mother’s master gave her a fly swatter and said: “Don’t let fly falling on my body”. He then lied down on the bed, refused to eat for seven days and died. I asked my mother: “Why he chosen to die? Did he get sick? Did he get tired of living?” Oh, it was because he believed in some religion? Mother said none of those. Her master said, it is enough for a human being to live for 60 years. But I don’t believe this is reasonable. To a Chinese medicine doctor, 60 years of old is just the peak of the medical professional. The doctor at this age can do lots of good things in clinic. How can we have a willing to die? I always think that my mother was too woman (too obey). He gave you the fly swatter and asked you to repel the fly, you did it. He said he was to die, and you let him to die?! Even if any other people wouldn’t mind, you should mind very much. He is YOUR master! You should push him to drink and to eat and you can pour rice soup to him. Mother said: that doesn’t work. My master wants peace and not be interrupted. My mother wss so obey. She just left and allowed her master to die in such a peace way. Later, when I see my mother’s peace attitude to death, I know that she had accepted her master’s attitude to death.   

For all of his life, her master did not struggle for rich or reputation, even not for a long life. My mother was exactly the same as her master. The believing system of a western medicine doctor may not be influenced by his professional work, but that of a Chinese medicine doctor can influence his medical technique and skills very much.[2] If my mother chased for a long life, for young, and for reputation, how could she, during her clinic work, followed the human natural needs, adjusted the Yin and Yang, and adjusted the Blood and the Qi, worked for the patients but her self? A Devil can be a western medicine doctor, but he cannot be a Chinese medicine doctor. Chinese medicine is not only a technique, it is also a life attitude and philosophy. It is a way of life. It is pity that I did not, and couldn’t understand this when I was young. Just for mother’s such attitude to life, she is a real Chinese medicine man. In a hospital, in which the Traditional Chinese medicine would be able to well work, she did not worry her salary, her reputation, or her social position. What she worried is that the Chinese medicine cannot be used in a proper way.  

Hospital is suitable for western medicine, but it is hard to match the need for Chinese medicine. Even the science is hard to limit mother’s Chinese medicine practice. However, my mother believed that she was along with the science. She studied the western medicine drugs, then classify them into Cold, or Hot, or five tastes, according to patient’s body reaction. She always tried to include the patients who have had the western medicine into the whole Chinese medicine consideration.

My mother was however living in the science age. She couldn’t avoid strong influence by the science. For the Traditional Chinese medicine, she, according to the principle of “pick up the essence, and remove the dross” of the policy of new Chinese medicine, separate the knowledge and materials left from her master, according to what she could understand and could not understand, into the essence and waste, the two parts.

One time, a patient with late-stage cancer was brought by her husband on his back to my mother. Mother of course could not help. But the husband could not accept this reality and bended, begged and entreated to my mother to a hardly understandable level. No any way to do, my mother had to give him a herbal formula for her disease. It is an old Chinese formula that needs the patient to eat old mother pork. The man bought from a countryside farm an old mother pig that had lost the ability to pregnancy. He killed the pig and let his wife eat the meat. The woman had very strong willingness to live, in addition to her superstition to my mother, ate the meat very hard. Upon the date that the western medicine sentenced her to die, she did not die! After she finished the eating of the whole pig, the whole winter pasted. She was unexpectedly recovered! The couple came to thank my mother. My mother wondered very much and spoke to herself again and again: “The Dross is not a dross?”

There was a labor worker who worked in a train to add coal into the oven of the train. Due to very irregular life style, he got a very serious pain in the stomach. He continued the work, so the medicine did not work at all for him. My mother smiled and told him, there is a “dross” formula to solve his problem. It is asked to prepare seven big vats. Burn straw into ash. Add the ash into the vats. Add water into the vats. There will be precipitations at the bottom of the vats. Collect it and it could have one bowl of it. Drink the white color precipitates. The stomach pain will stop. After hearing this formula, I agreed once more again with Lu Xun (a novel author, who dislike Chinese medicine) about Chinese medicine. I felt that the effective formula used in the Chinese medicine come just from such ridiculous trying by chance.  


Chapter 8: My prescription

This labor worker felt pain to die. He met an old lady one day. She mixed a bowel of suda and let him to drink. He was so surprised how people can drink so much suda once? But he was so painful and also that lady encouraged him again and again. He so anyway followed. To his great surprise, his pain stop! He repeated twice, and the pain was completely stop and it had never come later. My mother listened to this story and chattered again and again with great wonder and wanted to repeat that seven big vats to see what it was that precipitation. I believe, along with the richness in the clinic work, my mother’s disregard to the “dross” is shaking.

When I was young and lived with my mother, I felt everything with her natural. She did everything in clinic for any kinds of illnesses, except for surgery or Chinese Bone-manipulation technique. Nowadays, if people want to solve the psoriasis and aplastic anemia , they have to go to a specialist. When I was young, I saw that such disease was among the common diseases treated by my mother. They are also an easy treated disease. Now, if we go to a specialist for psoriasis, he will tell us absolutely not drink or touch wine. I remembered that the way for my mother to treat such disease, what she used is the wine. Only difference is that the cost for the treatment of aplastic anemia is little bit higher. I remembered one time, my mother convinced a mother again and again that the mother should not care too much for 12 dollars used for the treatment of her daughter’s disease. Later, the girl died. My mother felt strange. By asking, she knew that it was due to the girl’s mother who did not spend that 12 dollars for her daughter.

There are some diseases that my mother could not handle. There was a girl. She was tall, beauty, round face, looked very healthy. My mother felt her pulse, brought her aside and told her, she wouldn’t be able to cure her disease. Now I know it was leukemia. At that time, there was no chemotherapy or radiation therapy, or stem cell transplantation technique. It is no cure for either western medicine or Chinese medicine at that time.

The understanding to the organic disease in the body by mother is not absolutely rigid, such as for a heart disease.

Mother herself had heart disease. Once she suffered from the heart disease, she would not take any medicine. In fact, my mother had the most effective medicine in her own hands, called Su Xiao Jiu Xin Wan, which is also rare even in the western countries at that time. It was her brother who brought it to her from western countries. For this, I complained my uncle: “You know your sister’s temple. How you give the medicine to her but me? You should leave it to me!” Mother did not use any pill, neither told me that she had such pill in hands. I thought, for the attitude to the life and its meaning, she must be influenced by her master. When she was ill, she refused to eat medicine tablets or pills, but practice Qigong to adjust heart rhythm. She had been in paralysis on the bed for three years. I help her and conduct her treatment schedule, she could later stand up. She had proved miracle in medicine by herself again and again.

One of my father’s friends had heart disease. His organic disease was very severe. My mother said there was no medicine could help. I could not be reconciled. I gave him a herb to try, since I felt grateful to him. During the Cultural Revolution in China, my father escaped into deep forest. My mother was saved out by one people who she had had saved before, and my grandmother was brought by the dominating society at that time to take part in a “training class”. I went to the “cow farm” to find this my father’s friend. At that time, he was as a prison, with a Yin-Yang hare (one side with hair, another side no any hair), and sat there to chop and make strings…. Now I remember and think, how he could share several pounds of rice for me? He had his own eight children to grow! When I saw him, I doubt the correction (reasoning) of my father’s escape.  

Newly born calves are not afraid of tigers. I prepared a big herb formula called “Maihua Dian She Dan”. I spent lots of time and efforts and used up my mother’s storing herbs. I prepared every single ingredient, grinded them, made them into pills, then gave them to the patient. To my surprise, he was not grateful to my “Maihua Dian She Dan” and got upset to me, and blamed me being “Do things that were not possible.” He said: “Why you don’t think that I cannot eat even soup, how can you let me to drink herb with wine and with onion green as herbal guider? How they could work?” I would have liked to tell him I even had Shexiang, Xiongdan, and Niuhuang (all are very expensive herbal ingredients in Chinese medicine). Even the less expensive one was Chantu and Zhenzhu. But I dared not to tell him out. If I did, he might ask: will the Shexiang suites to me, the Zhenzhu suites to me? The Chantu, such toxic herb, you cared to include them in? How could I explain to him? I know that these herbs can expand the blood vesicle, to improve the body condition, and to use the toxic to solve another toxic. All in all, I melted my love feeling into the herbs, felt that I have input the herbs a spirit, that can follow my guide… He told my father this behind me, saying that I foolish him. That’s right. Who could believe a youth being able to prescribe a useful herbal formula? I got that herbs back after he died. My mother used it as An Gong Wan, or Zai Zao Wan[3]. The herbs are good. They are useful herbs, no doubt. I did not blame my father’s friend, only blamed that the Chinese medicine has no injection technique as the western medicine. How can we say that Chinese medicine does not need such injection technique?

My mother died of heart disease too. However my father lived longer though he also had heart disease. When his relatives who died before him due to heart disease, had no any sign of the heart disease, my father’s heart disease was already so severe that he needed others’ care. Now my father had celebrated his eighty year’s birthday. He told me, person’s feeling to the body is not that each additional year is worse than the previous year along the age. He felt much better than ten years ago. In deed, my father now walks as a wind. He looks as much stronger than he was forty years of old.


Chapter 9: Heart disease

Last year, my father talked about his heart disease. I think that he was lucky he was not treated by the modern medicine. I told him, for a heart disease as his, it would be heart pacemaker installed, as did two of my colleagues. Age of forty is the life peak of a man but once installed with the pacemaker, they became the ones who need my care very much when go out. I have to bring shopping bags and cases for them. I asked my father: “If they installed pacemaker for you at your forty, would you live to current eighty? You are lucky that the pacemaker was not available at that time. ”

In fact, either my father’s friend, or my mother, it does not mean they could not survive longer. If they would have not been so strong in mind, not asked the body to be a higher healthy level, they should be able to live in a half-sleeping status. But my mother did not want to live as that. She said, what is the meaning and what is the usefulness to live as that? So, after her death, when I cleared her stuff, I found that bottle of heart pill. That made me upset to my uncle. However, my father followed the ability of his heart. Along with his age, and the reduction in his body condition, his heart and body condition meets each other. His symptoms disappeared and he lived however longer.

My daughter’s grandfather had also heart disease and it was so difficult to treat. He himself also worried it a lot, so he had increased high blood pressure. He could not convince himself not to worry so much. Later he developed bleeding in brain and became plant human. When he was plant human, he could not continue to worry of course, so the blood pressure reduced by it self and the heart disease disappeared too. Everyday in the morning, he opened his eyes, enjoyed the sky, keep schedule to eat and to go to bed, no worry and no upset. For the following tens of years, he did not have even once onset of the heart disease and neither increase in the blood pressure.  

At previous years, I noticed that my mother treated several patients with heart disease. One is a girl of 16 years of old. She has congenital heart disease. However she was forced to go to the countryside to take part in labor work. She fall loss of consciousness again and again. After checked and certified by a provincial hospital, she went back to city. She was allocated as an accountant in a farm dealing with collection of waste material. I dared not to follow her invitation to have a bath together, science it was common that she might fall into conscienceless again in the bath pool. Every one knew that there might be a day on which she might fall into conscienceless and never wake up. She went to my mother for the treatment.

One day, after felt her pulse, my mother said, it should be better, but how it became worse again? She told my mother, there was a boy who wanted to have love relationship with her, but her parents did not want her to go to date. So she was worry and not happy for this. After heard this, my mother prepared four kinds of gifts and went to the home of the girl’s parents. The girl’s parent was very flustered, since they have to give my mother face. They agreed to allow the boy and the girl to date without any more rejection. I was young at that time, but I also had my own opinion. I felt that my mother was wrong to do so. The girl was only 16 years of old, and that boy was only 17. At that time, it was not at all just a common early date. I remembered, when the girl brought that boy to my mother, mother told them: “You should behavior well for your aunt. Don’t do wrong things……” The girl and boy nodded again and again. They kept date for ten years and got married after ten years. They had a daughter. The mother and the daughter were both well. Now the movement I recall this story, I feel fear. How can my mother trust the promise of the two youth? In there was a pregnancy before marriage, had abortion, would not the girl lose her life? Just because the girl was happy, her so severe heart disease did not prevent her from a normal life.

Another case was a girl of 23 years of old, who had also heart disease and even worse. Though she was young, she had to live in hospital several times a year. It is impossible for her to get marriage. Her family had to support her life for ever. She also went to my mother for treatment. Something happed surprisingly that was associated with her, though she could only lie down at home. She lived in a big residential compound. There was a man whose wife died. He had a son of eight years of old. No one knew how the man and the girl fall into love. You should know that it was an outrageous thing at that time too. The girl swear to marry him. This made the girls parents very angry to die. People beat the man heavily. But if refusing the girl to marry, she would die. The girl’s parent came to my mother for help. My mother supported the girl to get married. She supported to prepare a marry party for them. She called that man for something to tell. Mother told him, he should not let the girl to get pregnancy. Otherwise, the girl’s heart might not be able to handle the stress to the pregnancy….

After marriage, the man went out every Sunday for hunting, hunting fox. In our local city, it is taboo to hunt fox. Fox is kind of Sin. The hunter would get punishment for hunting the Sin. He hunted fox not for the very valuable fur, but for the heart of the fox. It is said in Chinese medicine: some part of animal body you eat will nourish that part of your body. So, to eat heart will nourish the heart of the body. He heard that the effect of the fox is more powerful, so every week he made a fox heart for his wife to eat. After eating tens of fox heart, mysterious thing happened. The symptoms of his wife’s heart disease almost disappeared. She got pregnancy and had a healthy son. My mother felt surprised, the effect of a fox heart is so powerful?

Even if with the western medicine in the treatment of heart disease, miracles happen from time to time.

I had a friend in business relationship. He had severe heart disease. He was not at forty years of old yet. One day, he “died”. He was brought to hospital without heart beat at all. No any signs for life. Doctors did electric shock to save his life. Cha, Cha, Cha. They repeated the electric shock for three times. The man was still dead. Doctor said, over three times of the electric beats could even rather make a normal heart into a heart disease. So it is forbidden to have more than three times of such electric shock. However, the doctor said to the death: “Who makes us as friend? Since we are friend, I should express my special entertainment to my friend.” So, Cha, Cha, Cha, repeated another three times. The dead became alive!

Chapter 10: Save a “dead”

When I met him at street, he brought up his clothes and showed me his ribs. It looked as roasted meat, all as burned and scorched. It was too horrible to look. He said, he had even no one minute his heart could feel peace. The heart was just beating without order. However he had to thank the doctor friend to save him. After one year, his condition became better. He was nearly as a normal person.

There is a report. There are several young doctors in an emergency department. They are very warm in heart. Once there is a “dead” come, they will save it for a long time. One “dead” with heart stop for beat for four hours was eventually saved by them.

There was a driver who fall into sudden death in a car and was sent to an emergency center. The manager of the center diagnosed him as with cardiac infarction. It needed melt of blockage in his coronary artery. But his heart stop to beat, there was no blood circulation any longer in his body, so the medication would not travel to the diseased artery. So, they applied artificial massage on the heart. These several young doctors stood on a wood stool in turn to press the heart. After one hour, there was no meaningful sign from his heart. The manager said, the lung was blocked too. The block melting therapy was needed again. The heart had to be pressed again. The young doctors had their own boyfriends or girlfriends who mostly were medical staff too. They stood in a line to do the same job. They in turn repeated the press of the heart massage. After another hour, the manager did not see any alive signal either, so he went away to another room. However, his assistants did not give up. They continued. At that movement, there was an automatic heart beat. A small nurse run and told the manager. The manager said it was nonsense. He said: no more way to save the “dead”. But the assistants insisted that if his heart could beat once, it was worthwhile to see if it would be able to beat twice. After another two hours. They indeed saved the man! The second day, the driver waked up and told his wife that he felt thirst and wanted to eat watermelon. He was even very stingy that he only needed half of a watermelon. The doctors looked at him and laughed. He even did not know what happened!

Later, a specialist made a comment for this case. He said in this case, it could have not happened in theory. The young doctors were brave and their way of saving the “dead” was far more beyond ordinary manner. There was someone who asked the manager: as a doctor, to save such a man without breath or heart beat, was it short of common sense or was it not a foolish? The manager answered very simple: we spent one hour and saved a man whose heart stop beat for half hours. The second time, we spend two hours to save life, and the third time we spend three hours. Once ever there are successful cases, we should have no reason not to prolong the time to save life. Because those of patients we had tried before, did not have heart beat stop for so long time, so we did not pay attention to them.   

There are many of such cases. All of these stories implies to me: the flexibility of a heart disease is very large. Even if it is organic disease, it does not mean that it is impossible to reverse. The so called heart disease is some times a mis-match between the heart and the physical body need. The heart disease happens during the youth growing is such example. The heart diseases of my father and my daughter’s grandfather are such examples. So, I do not pay too much attention to the curve in the cardiogram chart. An over-exhausting physical exercise may cause death for a healthy athletics. But an old lady with heart disease, who sat in warm under sunshine peacefully and year around, could live longer. I think, that people had heart disease and died is because they refuse to adjust their life style to the ability of their heart. My mother was such person. She said she cannot live with compensation. If so, she would rather not live. In fact, she did not die from heart disease. She got virus diarrhea on purpose. When I sent her to hospital, she threw away covering and tried to fall down the wheel chair.


Chapter 11: Treat myself

There was another patient. My mother failed to cure his disease. The reason for his disease is very simple: he did not escape away in time in an activity to transfer a tomb into different place, and when the coffin was opened. In Chinese culture, it is said that there is bad Qi from old coffin. Man should protect himself upon opening the coffin. But this man did not. He was therefore attacked by the bad Qi from that coffin. He fall into big-eared in mode, appeared as loss of spirit. Faced to him, my mother felt no way to go.

This case impressed me very much. It should be stated that my mother is too scientific. If she would have handled this case to a witch, it should not be a big problem for the witch to solve.

My mother combated superstition very much. She believed she was very scientific. She was very prudent to the local herbal formula. Compared with her master, my mother was no a pure Chinese medicine doctor any more. At that time when science rejected Traditional Chinese medicine, and at that time when the western medicine and the Traditional Chinese medicine were tried to combine, she had been keeping the nature of the Chinese medicine to a large extent. I thought this is due to her simplicity. When she was sick and hard to get up, the people who wanted her treatment stood as line waiting for her. I felt strange: why people got superstition to her? How can a human who cannot treat/cure his/her own disease can treat/cure other’s disease?

My grandmother never got superstition to my mother. I have eleven aunts. They all got superstition to my mother however. My grandmother scolded them no backbone. My grandmother’s backbone showed as she refused my mother to do any treatment to us four brother and sisters. Once we got sick, my mother had to behavior as an underground spy if she wanted to give us medicine to take. Several times I was sick to die, mother was rejected away with crying by my grandmother. My mother was upset and said she would no longer have this girl. My young brother had fever, my grandmother did not want mother to feed medicine to him. So my mother used syringe, and gave a injection by grab a chance. This made the children cry the movement they saw my mother. My grandmother brought her grandson out, not for hospital, but for an ice cream. My mother hold her head, thinking if she no longer wanted to have this son either. After eat ice cream, the fever went away, this made my grandmother triumphant. Mother looked at us children surprisingly. It seemed that we all are strong things. 

But my grandmother would not deny the achievement of my mother. I remembered that it was time when the Culture Revolution (in China) was in high peak, the class struggle movement was unlimited high. In our big yard (compound) where we lived, someone died, some escaped, and some others came into jail. The political environment was completely out of order. My family was in a critical live-or-die status. My grandmother stood in the middle of the yard, had a very arrogant speech. There were thirty homes in our yard. My grandmother blamed and scolded these families one by one. She scold: “When you gave birth and had difficulty in deliver for three days and nights, did you not come for help from my daughter-in-law? If it were not her, you must have had suffocated to die!” Then she kicked a child of ten years of old: “Where is your chance to come to have revolution to me, your grandmother?!”, Then another one: “you had measles and the skin rashes could not get out completely. You lied on the bed for forty days. Who finally saved your life? Today, you are revolution soldier. Whose life do you want to revolution against?”. “You one by one, think things from your heart, which family does not own my daughter-in-law?”

When my grandmother did so, I worried very much for her. The human being is so fragile at that time. Once they are aggregated, the result could not be imaged. However, the people in whole yard stood there, listened to my grandmother. All admitted that my mother had high skill in medicine and had good moral in medicine. No even one person would find any mistake from my mother.  

My grandmother’s blame broke these persons’ revolution passion and saved our family. When I was young, I did not have more chance to stay with my mother, nor stay with her for long time. In addition, I had no strong interest in Chinese medicine, even hated to have lots of people in our house whole of the day with lots of noise. I neither paid much attention to what mother did. Even so, if mother was absent for some days, and if the people who came to my mother but could not find her, they would stick to me. They did not test my ability for pulse diagnosis, but told me lots of their symptoms with hope that I would be able to help them. No matter how I explained to them that I could not, they just would not believe. They all said: “the son of the king of the sea would be able to play water.” No way, I had to feel their pulse, with the aim to make a simple diagnosis, to distinguish surface or inside of the disease, cold or fever of the disease, so to avoid big and principle mistake in the treatment. Then I opened mother’s kit, where there were several tens of herbs ready for use. The herbs were mother’s formula, I bought and prepared them. When mother was in clinic, it was me who worked as a pharmacological technician, to fold herbs and told people how to take it. So anyway I could find some ways to help them. In addition I recited several books in the Traditional Chinese Medicine. I am not new to the Chinese medicine at all. So, in special cases, I gave people herbs too. When mother came back, she did not blame me.

When I was in middle school, I followed Chairman Mao’s teach, learned useful knowledge and practical skill. I learned medicine, and followed the medical team to the countryside and villages. The skill that I had for treatment was acupuncture. Probably mother thought my skill was too simple. She pointed a kit to me, asked me to take some herbs. So I did. I, as my mother, distribute herbs to poor people in the villages. If mother would not think that I could make simple diagnosis and treatment, she would have not given me the herbs. But I did not think this way. Now, when I recall this experience, probably because I did not catch big mistakes, so after mother’s death, patients came to me again and again continuously. Whenever I cannot refuse them, I would give them herbs. For baby who cannot take the herbs, I used acupuncture, if I really wouldn’t be able to refuse the parents. So, I distributed all the herbs from mother. I also did acupuncture on the babies. It might be that my mother’s dead spirit prevented me.

The baby was only several pounds, the small body is white and purple. If they were lift against the sunshine, their body was half transparent. One day, I suddenly thought, if I insert the needle, so deep, where will be the needle? Think from an anatomy point of view, it would go into the liver, or into the kidney. So I felt scared. Later if there was baby, when the fold clothes was open, I would feel scared from heart, so my hands would shaken. No matter how I wanted to keep calm, no way. Later, I chose to escape. 

After mother’s death, I fall into sick. People said that it was exhaust of body energy. I didn’t know how to treat. I felt very much pain in my chest as knife cut. For such strong disease, I thought mild herb would not work, but my body would not be able to stand for a strong herb medicine. My mother told me before that I should not use these herbs for myself. I thought, why the herbs that suit for others but not for me? It might be a miracle to treat my illness by using them? So, I set up a formula for myself and took it. The results were terrible. I caught a very big mistake for myself. There was no pain in the chest, however, the chest felt as an iron plate. I felt so hard to have a breath. The organs in my body all fixed into one unite. I could not eat or have a breath. My life was in extreme danger. So I had to use toxic to treat toxic. I prepared another formula using the herbs that mother told me not use to me. I believed, without such herbs, no any other herbs would work to solve my problem. After taking the second herbs, the iron plate was broken. The big pain returned again to my chest. Later, I dared not to use herbs so carelessly.  

Later I went to an university in a big city. I went to a big hospital. I saw both western medicine and Traditional Chinese Medicine. None could help me. The medicine they gave to me repeated my previous mistakes again. So I had to solve my problem by myself. I carefully used only three herbs, added them into a tea cup. Add water in. Drink them as green tea. I continued for four years. The disease went half away. I could therefore feel easier to endure the left half. At that time, I regretted that I did not learn the Traditional Chinese medicine.


Chapter 12: Blood infusion to daughter

Several days after I started my study in University, I offended a female classmate. She got very high score in the national exam to university, but just because she had heart disease, she was allocated in our university. We did not know that, and she did not tell us this fact either. Our university had a farm. We students went to harvest. She insisted to do everything as us, so she got sick. There was no any doctor or hospital in or around the university farm. We all watched her short of breath, purple color in face, but no any way to help. When I asked her, she told me she had heart disease. I asked others apart, so to grab her shoulder and made a meridian massage for her. She then got better. From then, she always followed me and consulted with me.

She said she had the heart diseased from very young. She had to live in hospital when the disease got onset every time. It never got better so soon. She felt very comfort when I did massage on her that day. She insisted, if I did massage for her everyday, her disease will get cured. She noticed, when our students needed to pass repeated physical exam for going to university, and there was a classmate who had high blood pressure, it was me who helped that classmate down her blood pressure by massage. I told her they were not the same thing, high blood pressure and heart disease. The organic disease of heart would not be able to cure by just massage. What I did for her was an emergency management, not a cure.

She did not believe me. She told her family. Her family sent her money and she said she would like to pay me money. How could I cheat her for her money? So I did not follow her. For this, she hated me for many years. Now, I understand her eager feeling for cure, understand her inside feeling. I also regretted for my refuse to her. Now I thought, if I indeed would have had some massage for her, it would be anyway good for her, though we could not expect to cure her disease. Why should I be that stubborn? Probably I was scared and retreated by the strong hoping light from her eyes.  

After mother’s death, I though I would never have had any relationship with Traditional Chinese Medicine. But, I myself was also very weak in physical body both congenital and required. Though I also participated in physical exercise, maintained a surface healthy, but the child I born was also weak in nature congenitally. When my child was very young and they wouldn’t be able to drink herbs, we were the common guest in hospital. It was quite common for us to live in hospital six to seven times a year. To my upset, my child’s disease became worse and worse along the treatment.

One time, my child was sick to die due to heart failure. She was given medication to support the heart. The manager of the pediatric department told me it was very hard to tell if the child could continue to live, since every means from the western medicine had been used, but the child was to die.

I became urgent, asked the doctor to infuse my blood to my child. Doctors laughed at me: “Your blood is not medication, it cannot cure the disease, no use!” I insisted to give the infusion. The doctors had to follow me since they had no any means to help. I thought, I had had so long time diseases. I recovered from the edge of the death several times. In my blood, there must be something that could struggle against the disease of my child. I wanted to help my child. My blood is a life thing, which is hard to not follow my willing…

My child was so sick that it was even hard to find blood vessel on her body. It had been tried for nine times to insert in a needle to her blood vessel. Child was let lie on the table with head dropped. She could even not be able to cry slightly. After infusion of my blood into her body for two hours, she started asking for something to eat.

The scaring experience this time made me no longer keep hope to the western medicine. I started to seek and consult Traditional Chinese Medicine. I planed a series of schedules for the prevention and treatment by Traditional Chinese Medicine. At the same time, I started also train my child to drink herbal tea. I dared not to organize formula for my daughter, so I consulted with several TCM doctors, analyzed and compared the their herbal formula, then chose the one I felt more safe, then tried to let my daughter drink. This made me regret again not learned the Traditional Chinese medicine. From then, whenever my daughter was sick, I always tried both western medicine and the Traditional Chinese medicine. By both ways, the results were better then before.

Along with my age and experience of life, my respect to the western medicine, as to the concept of advance, science, rich, also changed. I even thought that every one will die, but it would be better to die peacefully and in calm, rather than the rich man dies after being heavily treated and managed by the western medicine.

One of my colleagues got bronchiectasis. The provincial hospital asked to cut a piece of his lung. My manager asked me to go and have a look for him. I advanced him not to have that surgery. But he refused to listen to me and trusted the doctors. No way. I had to send a gift to the doctor the day before the surgery. I then consulted with the doctors. Doctor laughed at me: “No worry. For such surgery, we did as much as a train cabinet.” I asked, how high the failure rate? Doctor said the chance is as much as a meteorite falling from sky on to your head. Heard this answer, I feel calm. No problem at all.

The surgical operation belongs to that kind of operation that needs opening of the big area of the chest. The patient lied down inside the operation room to have his chest to cut open, and the dominate doctor sat outside the room to read newspaper. Upon a nurse came out to tell that the chest has been opened, the doctor came in the room to continue operation. Less than 20 minutes, he brought a small basin out. I saw the lung there, and talked to that main doctor: “I did not see human lung before, but I see the pig lung and dog lung a lot. If the patient’s lung has so severe disease to need a surgery, it should anyway turn its color to show kind of its degeneration. How could I not see any big problem with it?” The doctor felt heavily offended and stared at me.


Chapter 13: Attitude to death

After another two hours, the man was sent out. He had a cut from front chest to the back of an opening of 50 to 60 cm long. Not to speak of to cut a piece of lung, even to cut the skin and muscle, saw away the ribs, open the chest, then sew the muscle and skin layer and layer, it would be a very heavy stress and damage even for a strong young man. His chest was opened a hole with a tube inserted in, which is conducted with a tube. There was blood flowing from the chest out through the tube. Doctor said it is to drain the accumulated blood from the chest out. After less than one hour, the bottle that connected to the tube became full. I asked the doctor, was the amount of blood drained somehow too much? Doctor said it was the aim to drain the blood completely. After another one hour, another bottle was full. Doctor said no problem. It was ok. After another hour, the third bottle was full again. I found the doctor and asked, how many blood can a man allow to flow as such? He said it was not all the blood, it was the liquid from the chest. I became upset. How can I not identify the water liquid from blood? Again, even if it was water liquid, how can we allow it flow so much. I insisted him to have a look. He came. Then the fourth bottle was full too. Measured the blood pressure, it was 30 mmHg. Looked at the patient’s eye, the pupil were enlarged…. The doctors and nurses brought the patient to wheel bed, urgent to operation room! They threw me a kit, said: there was no a drop of blood in the operation room now, you can go to the blood station to get some blood! I run out from the room, and heard the doctor gave me another task behind: prepare for things for death!

I was so upset and extreme angry to them! Is this not the falling of a meteorite on my head? But I have even no time to be angry. I must be as soon as possible to get the blood! The movement I sent the blood to the operation room, I was exhausted to loss my consciousness. Due to the extravasation of blood from the operated trauma surface, to stop the bleeding, whole of the lung on one side was cut! Because there was no preparation for such result, there was no any filling stuff ready to use. All done were to prevent the patient die on the operation bed. The whole man was so destroyed. 

I met another similar operation.

I was told that one of my friends came back from Beijing after a mouth operation. He was under fasting, refused to eat anything. I was asked to have a look. I felt very pain in heart for him. He is a rarely good man. He always helped others without asking repayment back. He did not smoke, not drink alcohol, even not a tea. So it was hard to send him a gift if we wanted to. It would be very pity to allow him to die. But how could I advice him? It is not the question of advice. We have to do something else.

I got an experienced herbal formula from an old lady who lived in a countryside. That was prepared with animal oil. I brought it to the patient. I told him this herb could work to stop the pain, and he should eat something… He looked at me. Seeing me a way of insisting to reach my aim, he asked for pen and paper. He wrote three pages of paper. Later, his family kept the pages. That was his last writing. He did not write anything more after that. He wrote very clearly. He got cancer in mouth. His family signed on the operation agreement sheet for the operation. His upper mouth ceiling was cut off. He could not speak, not swallow, very painful. So, how can a human live this way and what’s the meaning of life with this? …. He refused to eat for nine days and died.

From then on, whenever I met patient who is in very severe condition to die, I stop to save them, but help them to die soon, if they are my best friends. I know the aim I do this is to prepare a road for my own in future. I have no reason to allow my friend die sooner, but when it is time for me, I myself will try to live longer. I hope, whenever it is time for me, my friends and my child can do the same thing to me. Help me to die in a calm and easy way.

When I saw the death of very famous navel author, Mr. Ba Jin (China), I felt so complex in feelings. How sensitive and deep in feeling Mr. Ba Jin was. How could he live enduring the bulling and torturing? Whatever he suffered before, the bulling or tortures, none could compare with those he suffered when he was sick and he was not allowed to die. I felt no anymore terrible thing in the world than this to foolish man. How such thing happened to just him, who is so good to feel other’s feeling? More than ten years ago, when he was saved again, he said the last word in his life helplessly: “I can live for all of you.” From that time, he refused to speak anything more. How grief it is! How could we, all of us live now, bear Mr. Ba Jin’s living in such way for the aim of us?

Another famous author is Mrs. Bing Xin[4]. In her later years, she prepared a seal for herself. There was one word on it. It is “thief”. She said, Master Kongzi said that it would be a thief if one gets old but not going to die. The old man was not for showing his great. That he did so, must has his own life experience. The attitude to death by old generations is not as us nowadays who refuse the death so much. When I was young, I saw old people, when they were just over 60 of years of age, started to sew sole for shoes, to buy clothes, calmly to prepare material for the use of their death. How nice exercise for death? There was an old lady in my neighbors. She got the death dressing on her body at night. Next morning, when the family waked up, they found that the old lady had died at night for a long time with well dressed. There was a lady of eighty years of old who got sick. She pulled my hands crying: “save me, same me, please!” This is really a hard task for me. If your life span is over, how could I save you? How could man not live in the age? Another old lady of eighty years of old refused to pass the door of dead-hosting room of a hospital. She said it is aversion. Could we say that the death does not belong to her?


Chapter 14: Kidney disease: healing from Spleen

For a long time, I could not understand why my mother refused me to walk a cut-curve way to learn Chinese medicine. I thought, the first thing to learn the Chinese medicine is to accumulate clinic experience, then apply the Yin-Yang and the Five-element theory to organize the experience. The relationship between the Yin-Yang and the Five-element theory, and the Chinese medicine is not that as the muscle and the bone. Chinese medicine uses such theory since there is no other proper theory to explain the Chinese medicine in the summary of the clinic experience. I thought, if I learned to feel pulse and make pulse diagnosis, knew the conditions of a disease, was able to use the herbal therapy, I should be a qualified TCM doctor of reasonable level. By this way, I needn’t to use the Yin-Yang and Five-element theory, neither need to spend lots of time to read the medical Bibles. However, mother said, it will hurt people is I practice Chinese medicine by this way. Today, there were more and more doctors who seek the so called corresponding herbs for each specific disease. The overall technique of Chinese medicine declined, the overall healing effect of TCM goes down. No more miracles. Many western medicine doctors in China could also use herbs and they claimed it is the combination of the western medicine and the Chinese medicine. Is this not the way that current doctors walk that I wished to walk before but criticized by mother?

Nowadays, one of the things that I advice people not to do is not to take the Chinese medicine carelessly. Many of my relatives or friends, when get sick, go to herb shop to buy herbs by themselves. They do not care the surface or inside nature, or a cold or a hot nature of the disease. This does hurt them than do any good. This is exactly the influence of the western medicine on current people. Now, there are many herbs that exported to western world. The western people use the Chinese herbs according to the western medicine philosophy. It is not at all to develop the Chinese medicine, but to destroy it to die.

When I explained to people, why the Chinese herb pills do nothing good to them than hurt, I had to use the Yin-Yang and Five-element theory, naturally, with no other choice, and absolutely. I paid attention to the philosophy and the development of science. But I could not find a way to replace the Yin-Yang and Five-element theory in understanding the health and disease conditions of human body. It does not means that along with the going of the time, the understanding of human and of the material mass would develop deeper in parallel. For our understanding to the body function, we did not exceed the old people two thousands of years ago. The understanding of the body structure by the western medicine does not bring future more understanding of the overall body functions.  The western medicine did not adapt the Chinese medicine in philosophy yet. Currently I wouldn’t see any hope that the western medicine could combine with other medical systems in the world, which I have had expected. I even feel that we wouldn’t be able to walk from the road of the western medicine to the road of the Chinese Medicine.

The mother of one of my colleagues got nephrotic syndrome. The mother’s son and son’s wife were also doctors in another city. They brought her to that city for the treatment. The result was that it became worse and worse. The hospital had given them a notice for probable death. They had also prepared death-dress. Then, my colleague got trust crisis to her brother and the brother’s wife. She called me for help. I invited a local young Chinese medicine doctor, took our company’s car, drove for six to seven hours to that city. I thought, if the doctor found the patient had lost consciousness, with blood pressure only 30 mmHg, he would refuse to treat and would turn back. I so made a call to my colleague, asked her to prepare mind for such consequence.

After arrival, the doctor did not feel surprise. He felt the pulse and wrote a prescription. My colleague bought the herbs and cooked it ready. She called me, that the patient did not open eyes for several days, had none of rice or water, how to let her drink the herbal tea? I asked her to use small spoon, pour the herbal tea along her mother’s corner of mouth, slowly and drop by drop. Let the herb come into the mouth little by little. It would be better than nothing. So my colleague followed. Upon that night, she called and told me that her mother opened the eyes, and said she was hungry. I thought in my heart, it must be bad, since it must be a pre-death sign for her mother. My colleague asked me, should we give her eat? She did not eat anything for several days. I said, give her to eat. I thought in mind again: it is the last meal, let her to eat. My colleague fed her mother some soup, then some herb too. The next morning, she called me again, her mother said hungry again. I felt very happy, felt relax and calm much more now and told her to feed her. I said to her, congratulation, your mother had hope now. I surprised how this young Chinese doctor saved the life of this old lady. What means “hand comes, disease leaves.” It is! I asked my colleague bring that formula to me. I would like to see what good herbs he used.

The herbs were very common. No any special or rarely used ingredients. Even there were no any herbs that supposed to treat the kidney disease. It was only a commonly used herb formula to support and nourish Spleen system. How could such ordinary formula save a life?

I felt very strange and found a chance to consult this young Chinese medicine doctor. He said he organized the herbal formula according to the Five-element theory. The kidney disease with swelling means the Water is overwhelming, so the Soil (the Spleen) is weak in the body. The five elements were in imbalance, so the Yin and yang… for the treatment, we should first to keep and nourish the Soil, to raise the Yang Qi, to suppress the overwhelming side but support the weaken side…. From now, I realized why my mother did not want me to learn the Chinese Medicine as the way to learn the western medicine and why she said if I practice the Chinese medicine as the way of western medicine, the Chinese medicine would be no longer a Chinese medicine. It would be doing wrong thing to people. An herbal formula that could save the life is so common and ordinary. Its miracle reflected in its theory and its usage.  

This is just as the white and black pieces in the Go. In the same net, in the hands of different people, there would have different potential energy in the go field. The power of one chess piece in a given spot, is related also to the position and the power of other chess pieces. This makes any single piece not simple or single. The nature of the Chinese medicine is just as the go chess. It does not as the western medicine to develop more new technique or new drugs to treat disease, but to increase the understanding the nature of the disease. It is just as the increase in the level of the Chess player. If there is no deep culture behind, to practice the Chinese medicine according to clinic experience and to use hundreds of herbs, the Chinese medicine would become only a technique that a western medicine could write an herbal formula.


Chapter 15: Consultation in hotels

Of course I hope there would be better theory to replace the Yin-Yang and Five-element theory, so we could have better medical consideration. But, looking at the whole world, I could not find any one, so the Traditional Chinese Medicine has to use the old and primitive thinking manner.

One time I went out for business with another colleague and we lived in a hotel. When I had chat with her, another living mate came back and lied down on the bed crying. She cried so heavy that we could not continue our talk. My colleague was very angry. I said, well, anyway we can not talk, so I turned to that woman, asked why she was crying. She said she was to die. She got a cancer. She just came back from a hospital and the doctor just finished a colon endoscopic checkup for her. I asked: did he find the cancer? She said no, but the doctor said her symptom as such means a cancer, since her intestine lost function. No matter what she eat, even drink a cup of water, it would be drained out very quickly. She has tried lots of means but failed. Doctor said no cure any more.

Heard this, I felt very strange. Did not find cancer means it is cancer? I did a simple Chinese medicine assessment and I diagnosed that her condition was due to Yang Qi shrink. Generally speaking, for women got the Yang Qi shrink, the common symptom is the falling of uterus or heavy bleeding during circle. I asked her if she had such symptom. She said she had uterus prolapse for several years. I felt angry and said, why you do not mention this symptom to your doctor? She said the doctor did not ask her for this. Again, even if she told, the doctor would say they are two separate things. The uterus prolapse belongs to gynecology, and she should go to doctors there. I said how we could regard them two separated things? They are the same problem! The hospital and doctor can divide different department, but the disease in the body of patient is the same thing. The reason for the disease is the same. But to the western medicine, they are two separated things! One belongs to digestive system, and another belongs to gynecology. Even for those of Chinese medicine doctors who tend to directly link the symptoms with the herbs, they are also two things.[5]

I suggested her to find a good Chinese medicine doctor. Before she could find any, try to take some herb pills. I wrote an herb name for her. My colleague was aside. She asked me if I could explain the Yang Qi. I said, I do not know what it is, but I know its function. If the Yang Qi is sufficient, the man would not have leak in urine, in stool, in bleeding after circle, no prolapse in anus or uterus. Upon man died, there was no any holding up power from the Yang Qi, the dead man usually has leak of stool and urine. If the Yang Qi is damaged or exhausted, the man would also have similar symptoms. This woman has many times of birth giving and abortion, her body is weak, the Yang Qi is exhausted, so she had not only the symptom in the congenital system, but also digestive system. The principle in the treatment is therefore to raise the Yang Qi….

The disease of this woman was a small, ordinary and easily solved disease in the eyes of Chinese medicine. How it became a hopeless and hard-to-diagnosed disease in the western medicine? Indeed the western medicine has high technology, but the way to use and the result of the use of the high technology appeared so immature some times?

When we traveled out and lived in hotel, we could meet many people seeking for medical help. Highly stress and heavy emotional pressure, usually made them no more mind to care others. One day, I got up in the middle night, turned up the light, told to other woman in the same room: “Please get up, you wouldn’t want me to have a sleep anyway. I would not so hope to have a sleep. Tell me, what happened to you and what worry you have?” She said she was going to have a surgical operation next day. She feared very much. I forgot what disease she had but anyway, after she told her disease, I said it might not need a surgery for her disease. I also forget what herbal formula I gave to her to try. The second day, we separated and forget this thing. After several months, she sent me a letter and told me that she followed my receipt and her disease has been recovered. She was very happy, so to let me know. She said I was her elegant but I could not remember what is what.

I used the Chinese medicine therapy only from time to time. Along with the growth up of my daughter and her body condition became stronger, I did not pay more attention to the Chinese medicine again. However, when my daughter came into teenager, the spirit of the Chinese medicine came into my mind again and again.

In current times, girls do not know how to care themselves. The life style and the thinking manner of the western world has very bad impact to the Chinese girls.  

The girls in our company always came to me if they had headache or fever. They also felt very strange and hard to understand for my explanations to their illness: “I had stomach pain, but you tell me to get more dress, I did not feel any cold?” or “I feel tired, but you ask me do not eat watermelon”…

There was a woman who had infertility. We chatted. I said: “I dare to say, you did not wear cotton pants in winter.” She said: “Yes, that’s right. I didn’t. How do you know?” I said, so you could not get pregnancy. For those of women who dressed very little in the very cold weather, I told to them: “You can enjoy your beauty now, there would be time at which you would cry.”

One of the women who had infertility told me: it is good not to have baby. It saves me lots of time and mind. I said, it would be really nice if the life is so simple. I brought her to a medical specialist. After consultation with the specialist, she cried and cried, felt painful in heart.


Chapter 16: Healthcare for girl

The specialist told her, along with the development of the her condition, it would be disorder of endocrine systems, there would be less estrogen hormone, lack of stimulation to the pituitary glands, change of body ship, face looking, then high blood pressure, arteriosclerosis, and early death. The solution is to try to have a pregnancy, so to adjust the body function in a new way. But the quality of the child cannot be ensured. The adjustment for the mother was also a kind of level, not could be a pretty normal woman. During her menopause period, there might be more problems. In all, this life is not a smooth life. She did not think that the thing is so severe, so could not prevent from urgent and hurry to worry about the body condition.

For women tend to stay in a cold and an air conditioned room; not to let themselves to have sweat; eat and drink cold and ice beverages and not listened to me, I could only warn them they would have lots of trouble in later of their lives.

Mother told me, it would be easier for a woman’s disease to treat if she had no disease in the Blood system. Therefore she asked women to take care well of their daughters. Once the girl had disease in the blood system, she always blamed the mother of the girl not a qualified mother: how could you allow your daughter have raining on the body? How can you eat and drink cold after baby deliver?

When I tried to protect my daughter, she did not know how to protect herself, but said everyone did the same way, especially the foreigners. This makes me feel as a fire burning in heart. How could I make her know that the body constitution is difference between the Chinese and the western people and how to let her know that the western life style also caused problems for them western people? How could I make her know the healthy life style and learn to protect herself? This makes me remember the traditional Chinese culture and traditional medicine – the Chinese medicine.

I don’t want to argue with youth, neither to use theory as weapon to struggle against them. I could agree with the Girl Muzimai (note: Muzimei is an author of a magazine in China about sex). About twenty years of old, with yellow and blue face, not smooth face, even current modern beauty technique wouldn’t be able to change her withered looking. Look at her naked photo, withered as an old lady. Without a pulse feeling, it can be diagnosed as a disorder of the Yin and Yang in the body, which was also hard to solve, since if she did not change the life style, not change her life theory, but only depending on the drugs to maintain her life style, nothing will work to return her a truly beauty.

Now that so many youth walk on the life road against nature, against the body law, I don’t know how to protect my daughter. Not to speak now she could not really understand me, take my words as wind bloating away of the ears, even if she listens some, what about after my death? Could she take care of herself? Does she know how? This makes me remember again the Chinese medicine.

Many western medicine students don’t know how to prevent disease and keep healthy, since the western medicine is a scientific technique, not a theory or a believing about life. Scientific technique does not necessarily bring “Science” life style, nor has any necessary relationship with the personal education, civilization. This can be proven by the fact that many scientists believe bad or wrong religion. On the other side, the Chinese medicine is a “Dao”. Its believing is useful to solve anxiety, irritable, depression… If I could hand my daughter to the Chinese, I should feel calm even if I died.

Chinese medicine, first of all, could supply my daughter an idea or a philosophy that is healthy for her body and mind. Secondly, it allows her earn living and help others. More, it gives her a life long career.

When I started to consider for my daughter, I became more and more admitting my mother’s life style.

Now when I think more in detail, I realized that my mother loves her Chinese medicine very much. To be able to work as a real Chinese medicine doctor, she dared to leave a big hospital and opened her own small family clinic. She does not stick to money. She applied the classic formula. Only several herb ingredients, worked her formula which were usually only one fifth of a dollar.  When I folded the herbs for patients, they usually said: “Please give me more? Look the amount you give, so little as a small spoon to pick up ear cerumen. It is no more than what you spilled.” Or they would say: “Give me more pouch, the herbs start work slow, so I want to eat more.” One day, mother saw me grinding calcium particle. She asked me what I was doing. I said I am preparing some calcium powder so I could involve it in the herbal formula, to prevent them from complain the amount of herb is too little. Mother said: The effectiveness of herbs is not depending on the amount of herbs used, nor the time length to eat. It depends on if it is right one or not to the disease. If the herb suits to the disease, even very little amount could work and it works very quick, not at all slow. 

Even as a patient, who has willingness to eat more herbs? For some child who felt hard to drink the herbal tea, mother would use a paper roll with the herbal powder in it. She Inserted the paper roll into the mouth of the child, blew the powder into the mouth. The powder stuck in the tongue of the child, hard to spit it out. Just so little herbs, it worked.

Mother’s life was self-satisfied and happy. Sometimes, I saw mother felt pulse for a woman, appearing as enjoying something. Several times, she brought me to feel the pulse: “Feel, how happy, how nice, as the river water in spring, this is pregnancy pulse.” I felt, only felt that this patient had no heart disease, could not feel what she described the spring garden dance. Mother even inspired me: “The pulse feels as male, strong. It should be a boy…” Heard this, the woman smiled from heart: “I get pregnancy, boy or girl?”. Mother felt pregnancy pulse but she did not tell out if it was a boy or a girl. That she told it was a body is for me to feel the difference. But that I felt the pulse was not to reduce her happiness.


Chapter 17: My daughter’s way to Chinese medicine

Mother’s mind is calm and peace, no special wrong life style. Is this due to her career? When I was young, I thought it would be the common phenomenon for all women in later ages. But we can see that, currently more and more women, the older they are, the more mad and crazy. If they are not anxiety, they would be depression. It is hard to find a woman as my mother in such peaceful mode, calm, tolerant and magnanimous. Now I realized, there was no natural relationship between the age and the kindness and wisdom. I now find that mother’s mode is so valuable. I more and more want my daughter as my mother to have support in emotion and in spirit.

I chatted to my daughter that I regret not learn the Chinese medicine. Seeing that I denied myself, she was glad: “That’s right. Look at you. No any achieve but busy all of the day. Nothing is serious. What you are doing is a career” Once you get retired, as other people has nothing to do, you would go to play mahjiong or to dance?”

I signed: “If I learned Chinese medicine, I would be better than my mother. Where you can find a Chinese medicine doctor get retired? The older the Chinese medicine doctor, the more valuable he is. If I would have started to be hurry to learn at this age…”

My daughter said: “If I learn the Chinese medicine, I would be better than both of you. I could write herbal formula on a Xuan paper with vertical lines on it, with a curved script Chinese…. Daughter falls into my trick.

My daughter’s thinking is a typical woman’s way of thinking. She first of all thought she could combine the Chinese medicine with her hobby of art, the Chinese violin playing, the chess playing, the writing art, the painting, and the old style study room. She thought that all can be combined into the Chinese medicine art. She thought back and forth, then: “I really could not find if there is any other career that suits me.”

I felt both happy and anxiety for my daughter going to the Chinese medicine.

What I am happy: daughter became peace and calm after starting the Chinese medicine learning. She is apparently different from those of girls who stick and struggle for early reputation and money and material interests. As a comparison, she is more “mature”, wearing cotton in winter and less in summer; getting up when sun arise and goes to bed when the sun sets.

Although she is not a Chinese medicine doctor yet, the problems happened in the body of relatives and friends start to focus to her, needing her to give explanation and solution. This speeds up her learning in depth and broadness in the Chinese medicine learning. Beside the scheduled class and lesions, she learned sexual knowledge, psychology, acupuncture and got corresponding licenses. She starts also worry the damages for the body and mind to the youth in current times due to their current life style. 

What I worried for my daughter is: the traditional Chinese medicine faces very serious challenges, there would be a very long way for her to go, and it would be very difficult to have creation and new contribution to the Chinese medicine development.

Daughter does not stand together with her same aged youth, but opposite quite often. She became the “minority”, the “different kind.” But daughter stands more and more firmly stand. She started to disseminate the danger of sexual disease among the youth, disseminated the life believing of the Chinese medicine, worried for the girls who has frequent pregnancy and abortion. She objected the no-limited smoke, drink alcohol, crazy night life. She was no longer as other girl craving for modern fashion, enjoyment and richness. She could resist to the temptation to live a life of debauchery. She could naturally seek the source of the Chinese culture. For this, I thank very much the Chinese medicine. In current world, where could I find a thing that could make my daughter calm, and that is so deep in wisdom inside?

I went a very big curve to recognize so simple fact that the Chinese medicine and the western medicine are quite different thinking ways, and they are quite different medical systems. My daughter however recognize this right away. She comforted me, that is because the time I was living is special. The curve that I went to recognize the Chinese medicine can be regarded as a payment for the mistakes. Without any mistakes that I took, there would have no her right decision and recognition to the Chinese medicine. So, whatever the curve I went is for her straight way to go.

What my daughter learned is the clinic of western medicine and Chinese medicine. This is still a new way, a no-result way. But this search for the road is necessary. In the time my daughter live, it is impossible to throw away the western medicine but only talk the Chinese medicine. But how can we go a way of combination of the western medicine and the Chinese medicine? The task in front of the generation of my daughter is very formidable.

My mother did not reject the western medicine. There are some Chinese medicine doctors who reject the use of western medicine, but my mother not. Mother did not think that the intervention of the western medicine would be a pure negative effect. When she was in clinic, she considered the western medicine in the whole of the possible reasons for the disease. She would think how to find a peak, a fulcrum, to achieve greater success with less cost. When meet a difficult case, she would also use the western medicine to change the status of the disease, then try different means in Chinese medicine again.

Western medicine could only use the technique of the Chinese medicine, but not its theory, so it is anyway not Chinese medicine in their combination project. But could the difficulty to combine western medicine by the Chinese medicine doctor be easier? My daughter said, no way. There is a block in the way of thinking. Upon seeing a diseased location, as the western medicine sees a cancer in a film, the doctor’s eyes are attracted by the diseased mass. The thinking would be hard to shift to the Chinese medicine as a wholistic assessment way. What she said is understandable, but not absolutely.


Chapter 18: Health concept

That my mother left the hospital and was away from the main stream of the society, made her relatively kept some style of the Chinese medicine tradition in clinic. This helped me to compare the huge difference between the current Chinese medicine and the Traditional Chinese medicine. Strictly speaking, current Chinese medicine went far away from the Chinese medicine road. It could not be regarded as a TRADITIONAL Chinese medicine. Many graduates from Chinese medical university, when they face the patients, in their mind is the biologic and anatomic human being, not a Yin-Yang and Five-element man. Therefore, they are western medicine doctor who use the herbs, not at all a traditional Chinese medicine doctor.

The already western-modified Chinese medicine of course has no way to dominate the western medicine. They are not combining the western medicine with Chinese medicine, but are the western medicine that was combined by the western medicine to use herbs. So, they feel self-abased upon using herbs, since the herbs are not so new, special or fast in effect, not as the western medicine to be able to develop and synthesize new and surprisingly good drugs. Because those Chinese medicine doctors have no ability to use herbs in spiritual level, they use herbs as a low level chess player. They could not create marvelous chess potential by using the simple just white and black piece.

If the Chinese medicine doctor really has Chinese medicine mind and thinking, even if he sees the mass of cancer, the cancer mass wouldn’t be able to attract his eyes all into the mass per se. My daughter said, if it is a first level surgery doctor, when he sees a cancer mass, would he first of all thinks how to cut it down? As a highly skillful thief, when he is in short of money, would he not pay attention to the chance to steal? When you have easy and simple way to do something, would you first to consider the commonly believed old, heavy and clumsy ways? This is the environment and situation that has to be faced by the current Chinese medicine.

Why there is very little surgical operation in Chinese medicine? If the development of Chinese medicine would definitely ask the occurrence of surgical operation therapy, why based on the clever of Chinese, there is no surgical therapy in Chinese medicine? Isn’t it true that we Chinese also learn the western medicine very well?

Which hospital has no “Li knife”, “Zhang knife”, or “Zhao knife”? [6]

The point is: Chinese medicine does not regard the disease as a “disease”. It does not try to find it by any means, to cut it away, or to “kill” it. As Chinese in evaluation of a person, they do not evaluate the person according to a standard parameter, to tell what his merit is and what his defect is. They actually evaluate the person’s overall behavior and inside nature, good, in harmony, or out of harmony in each part of the body. I usually would not be able to tell out their merit or defect, but I know them. I know what he would say and act in an environment or in a special condition. I couldn’t image, if taking the “defect” out from them, what would be left and what they would be.

The western way of thinking causes a big problem in the verbal communication in Chinese medicine practice. Patients ask the Chinese medicine doctor to answer their questions as ask a western medicine doctor. This is hard for Chinese medicine doctor, since this is improper to a treatment. This is as a man, who believes that he would be a perfect man if he corrects all his mistakes or defects. It should be known that they are two separate things to correct defect and to be a perfect man. Therefore, the believing that after removal of “disease” the patient would be a healthy man does not stand, even according to a logical reasoning.

What the Chinese medicine pays attention to is not the “disease”, but indeed the healthy anyway. With this healthy concept, Chinese medicine even allows the “disease” coexist within the body. Therefore, the body of Chinese is usually not pure. Their body has “disease”, “virus”, “bacteria”. In strictly speaking, Chinese medicine is not to cut off “disease” or to kill “disease”, but to introduce virus. Use the “disease” to solve “disease”; applying the nourish, the combat, the prevention, the resolution; to support the weak side and to suppress the overwhelming side; and to enhance the body energy level and to nourish and increase the inside potential, etc.

We anyway are Chinese. Our body constitution is different from the western people. The length of our intestine is tens of centimeters longer than the western people. The getting drowned disease, the black death (the plague) was brought to the western world from China. This disease happened in Chinese history from time to time, never caused disaster death in China. This is very much related to the Chinese way of life and of healthy concept. 

I worry very much about the health concept of the western medicine. By look, the western people are as their trees, tall, strong, white, pure, high energetic. Compared with them, we are “sick”. Some of the “sick” Chinese want to remove their “sick” completely, so their body would be as pure as the western people. German worry their forests. To maintain a forest that has no any worm in the trees would need the regular spray of chemicals, since the forest would not be able to bear any worm disaster. The pure cow also needs antibiotic to maintain the pure. People in the western world clear their body of any possible bad things by using the western medicine. There is such a woman who boasted to me that she had her tonsil, gall bladder, appendix, uterus, decayed tooth…… She said: “they are useless.” She was also going to listen to the doctor, to remove the moles in the body completely. Pure body means healthy?

Traditional Chinese medicine evaluates the health according to the balance of the Yin and Yang in the body. Body can co-exist with a disease. Due to the individual deference, it is impossible to set a clear line for health standard. If we separate the body constitution according to the Five-element theory, the healthy condition for a Metal body would be a disease condition for a Wood constitution. The point is not to remove the “disease” but to keep every part of the body in balance.

For the clinic treatment, my mother liked to use as less as possible the herbs. Usually after taking one dose of the herbs, the patient came again with great joy. They said: “Much better, much better. It would be completely well if we continue for one or two doses.” At this time, mother would refuse to give them more herbs. She would say: I only treat the disease about 30% to change the trend of the disease development. If you really want to get better, what you need to do is to stop taking any medicine but adjust your emotion, keep regular life style….


Chapter 19: Fear to death

Mother said, no any medication could replace the adjusting ability of the body itself. The medication as the herbs, could help, but not replace the body ability. The herbs should not stay in the body to cause new troubles after solve the previous troubles. After support of the body defense ability to a higher lever, everything would develop to a balanced and a healthy condition.

Sometimes when I go to a hospital, my mind is very complex and confused. The man who fears death would fear death after visit to hospital. The heath is so painful: abdomen was cut open, heart was beat by electric beat, artificial breath machine, the chemotherapy, the radiation therapy… even the terrible tortures used by Guoming Pary[7] in Chongqin city before year 1949 to the members of the Communist Party,  are not so scarring.

I had a roster and a hen at home. They got sick. The disease was brought home by the roster. I told the roster, lapping on the head of the roster: “You are so strong, you should go on and insist. I will bring medicine home to save you.” When I came home and am going to have injection the roster, I found that it had died peacefully. I then gave the injection to the hen. It was repeated once every four times for totally three days. The medicine is good medicine, it is the Vanguard.  The hen was tortured a lot so that I myself felt been tortured to die. She died anyway later. If I would not have interrupted her, but left her to die naturally, she would not need to die so painful. The fear to death is due to the intervention by the medicine.

I told my daughter, if I am unable to live, don’t bring me to hospital, don’t interfere with my death course. I want to die naturally. I believe that natural death is not as painful as die in hospital. Whoever wants to be the weapon to struggle against the Death, let him do it, but not me.

It does not mean that if it is the western medicine doctor, he would not fear such struggle. We have a general manager in a western medicine hospital. He was young and energetic, with very strong ability in the medical career and with very strong spirit to challenging. The over stress in the work caused him a liver cancer. I feel very strange how he could get sick to such a later stage that is hard to treat?  For him, when he checks the disease for a patient, he could do the B ultrasound test and the CT scan by himself. His friends and classmates are all the specialist and backbone of the big and famous hospitals in China. They all decided: have a liver transplantation!

It is almost an impossible thing for us ordinary people, but they did the preparation in a very efficient manner. Everything is ready. He lied down on the operation bed. I believed that they are a group of surgical doctors with the highest character in China. Miracle would happen in their hands. When the operation knife just touch the abdomen, incidence occurred. The patient died! He died of an surprising broken of blood vessel in brain stem. No way to stop it and to save his life! How strong the stress to him? It broken the main blood vessel in the brain stem? He is the general manager of the western medicine hospital and who believes the science!

How strong nerves a man needs to bear the diagnosis and treatment by the western medicine?

I have a colleague who got leukemia. She survived since she got stem cell transplantation. For her strong spirit, she was awarded a national labor medal. There had been nine people who came into that sterile cabinet for the transplantation at the same time as her. Later, these patients died one every five months. The last one died not from the leukemia, but jump down the building, since she wouldn’t be able to bear the fear to recurrence, so her spirit corrupted.

I followed her to the main doctor for her transplantation. He told out frankly: after I finish the operation, I could do nothing to you any more. I could not prevent the possible recurrence of the disease. He said frankly: go to Chinese medicine, see if they could help you in some way.  

Western medicine is indeed great, no doubt. We could not avoid the western medicine. We really wish it could develop fast, be able to solve more medical problems. However, the western medicine is so questionable. It solves one problem but creates a new problem, just as the knife could not cut its own handle. What the western medicine needs is just the things that are in the Chinese medicine.

However, the western medicine cannot dominate the Chinese medicine. When the western medicine could not find anything wrong in the B ultrasound, or anything wrong in the lab tests, it wouldn’t admit the liver stagnation or liver Qi stagnation. When it indeed finds something not normal in the B ultrasound, or something wrong in the lab tests, it is eager to kill the diseased spot. If the “disease” cannot be cut, it will try replacement (transplantation).

When mention the transplantation, is it so easy? Not to speak about the terribly high cost, my that colleague blamed me so ready: “I fall into your trick. You said the survival rate is 48%, but now, you see, how many people are alive? You see how I am now?” Of course what she said is not correct. No matter how she is now, she IS alive. If a person has no money or strong spirit, he has already died. She is strong in emotion, so her strong emotion allowed her to be alive.

So, I have a wild and burning ambition. Could we use the Chinese medicine to dominate the western medicine? The young Chinese medicine doctor I mentioned above is very interesting. When he felt pulse for patients, I felt funny and laugh. He told patient: “You have inflammation in gall bladder, stone in kidney, fibrosis in uterus…” The patient doubted. He would then prescribe a B ultrasound detection. To my surprise, the Chinese medicine could develop in such a way! Yes, nowadays, many patients come to Chinese medicine doctor with lots of report sheets from the western medicine. Compared with this exam reports, the Chinese medicine pulse diagnosis develops along with the western medicine detection technology. When this Chinese medicine doctor treats kidney disease, he also applies the western medicine detections, uses the precise tests of the western medicine to compare with the pulse feeling, the dose of herbs and the nature of the herbs. This made him recognize the disease more clear and precise than previous Chinese medicine doctors. It also enables him to correct his pulse diagnosis and herbal therapy.

Chinese medicine treats the human and his disease as a whole, but it does not refuse technique stools. So called wholistic thinking is to consider all the factors together, of course including the western medicine detection techniques. 


Chapter 20: Combination of Chinese medicine and western medicine


There was a Chinese medicine doctor in Hong Kong city who treats hepatic ascites. He knew that according to the Chinese medicine principle in the treatment, a depletion therapy (urine therapy or bowel-cleansing therapy) should be used, for fear of depletion of the body liquid. But according to Chinese medicine book, it is forbidden to use such therapy to a patient in severe stage. He bravely used the depletion therapy again and again and cured many of such patients. He said: I don’t fear the depletion of the body liquid. I used vein infusion for liquid, blood, so solved the challenge met by Chinese medicine doctors in old time.  

Traditional Chinese medicine has the ability to absorb various techniques, using one toxic to solve another toxic, creating one “disease” to solve another disease. It uses acupuncture, moxibustion, Guasha, cupping, massage, Tuina, …every means you can see in clinic. Ruxiang and Moyao were the essence imported from out of China, which are now the common ingredients in the Chinese herbal therapy. Chinese medicine does not worry the more number of the healing technique. My mother used the western medicine as a toxic, to solve another toxic that is difficult to treat with common therapies.

Whenever the disease has stuck and adhered into an obstinate illness, resulted in an imbalance of all the five elements, extreme overwhelming or short condition, and no Chinese medicine could help, why not we could use the western medicine as a big toxic, to change the adherence status of the five elements, and to create a new chance for the Chinese medicine to rebalance it?

I know one Chinese medicine doctor specialized in the treatment for children. He felt envy to the western medicine clinic for earning more money. He then opened a western medicine clinic too. He was very quick to learn the western medicine ways in pediatric. To my fun, the same western medicine drug works much better in his hands than in ordinary western medicine clinic. Many patients came to him. I previously felt regret that he changed into a western medicine doctor. Now I would have to admire that he did very well for the combination. Western drugs can sell high price. If his healing effect is better than the western medicine, there is no doubt that there will have lots of clients. If he used only Chinese medicine herbs, he wouldn’t be able to earn lots of money even if he has lots of clients. In the pediatric, there are many acute cases, it is of course better to use the combination of the western medicine and the Chinese medicine, as a pediatric doctor, since it would be much quick and easy to solve the child’s problem.

Contrary to the willing to capture the Chinese medicine by the western medicine, Chinese medicine never refuses other medical technique. Chinese medicine is not in a combating status, but a tolerating, holding and accepting status.

The nature of guess and prediction of the Chinese medicine makes people feel as the Chinese medicine has no science nature. If you talk with an old Chinese medicine doctor about his experience or his feeling about clinic events, it could makes the scientist confused some times. The old Chinese medicine doctor himself couldn’t give a scientific explanation either. But, the feeling of the Chinese medicine is foolish? When we get known of something very well, knowing its rule and law of development, could we not predict its future and result, so do something ahead of it? Is it not quit normal? Based on a temple of a man, we could predict what he is to say and to do under some environment. We could also predict his overall life pattern. Based on the person’s body constitution and his life style, we could predict the possible diseases he might get in future. If we don’t stick and adhere to the sciencism, we would not only capture the world by the science, but also be able to capture more space and world.

In fact, the way of old Chinese to understand the world is not a linear manner but an imagination. (This is just as a driver, who doesn’t tell out the technology and data for the production of the car, but he could tell how good or bad of the car in some driving conditions.) For example, when we describe a person’s difficult position, we say: “An old and broken house meets a continuous raining; leaking boat meets a front wind”. So, without any concrete explanation or data, we can still understand what happens and what condition it is for the man.

Upon touching the pulse by Chinese medicine doctor, a vivid medical meaning image appears in his mind. It is hard for one who is not a Chinese medicine doctor to understand. If this doctor has enough experience to manage and analyze this image, he should be able to know the trend of the disease. The problem is: our mind might have not gotten used to such change from western medicine mind to Chinese medicine mind, or from Chinese medicine mind then the western medicine mind.

I feel that, than to say that the competition between the western medicine and Chinese medicine is the conflict between the western culture and east culture, I would rather say it is actually a challenge to the development of human being brain. I believe that there have several times of such similar brain revolutions during the development from ape to human being. In math, it is the abstract to logarithm. In language, it is the definition to feelings, concepts…Nowadays, many people think it is impossible to consider a man as both biological human and a human classified according to the Yin-Yang and Five-element theory. They said that, if we regard the human biological, it cannot be regarded as a human from the Yin-Yang and Five-element point of view. 

Is it true that the conflict between the western medicine and the Chinese medicine as that between a fire and water? Is it impossible to unite the imagination thinking and the logical reasoning? Is this question touches the extreme of our brain function?

My daughter also realized that what she is facing is terrible. As a modern doctor, she must master the western medicine clinic work. I said, when you face a patient who needs your urgent help, you cannot tell him that you are a Chinese medicine doctor and you could not give him any emergency solution. You cannot either tell a patient that you can not help them anyway since you are not in hospital and you have no access at that movement to the X-ray, the CT, the various lab tests…. You should not either refuse to give a patient a combined western medicine and Chinese medicine treatment, with the excuse that they are different thinking system. I believe, the failure in the combination of the western medicine and the Chinese medicine for the past hundred years, does not mean this is not a road to go. Whether Chinese culture could continue to develop in the current world, I bear the hope here in the Traditional Chinese Medicine. [8]


Chapter 21: Barefoot doctor

Reviewing the human history, the development of the human society always starts with light burden. No matter how good the east culture, if it is no any practical usage in current times, no support by a practical technique, it would not exist.  Therefore I believe that it is wasting effort by some people who strongly advice to restore the Confucianism and to restore the traditional culture. Not to speak of the restoring the traditional Chinese culture being waste of energy, even the effort is also a waste of energy, to push the development of the democracy and freedom of the western kind, with the administrative measures. In fact, the practical usage of the traditional Chinese culture is less and less, only the Traditional Chinese medicine is alive due to its practical usage. History is a realist. So, no use to talk again and again about the east culture, but better to practically practice the Traditional Chinese medicine, showing the best healing result. If the Chinese medicine does not die, the Chinese culture would not die either. Chinese medicine is the last fortress of the Chinese culture.

The exist and the development of the Chinese medicine has its strong legitimacy in the current world. Or, we can say that it has a good chance.

Chinese medicine will not die in China. One of the reasons is that the Chinese are still very poor. We cannot afford the expensive western medicine. I always feel strange to Chairman Mao. He is also a youth in the “May forth movement”[9]. There was little youth in that time who did not want to throw away the Chinese medicine. I never find any documents showing that he had had contact with Chinese medicine. How could he support the Chinese medicine? If he, the great old man, opposed the Chinese medicine, would the Chinese medicine live to today? The action of “break old and establish the new” had cleared the whole China to a complete clear place, but only this Chinese medicine remained.

Chairman Mao established in the countryside of China very broadly covered and very tightly organized medicine system. This system is the combined western medicine and the Chinese medicine network. It is impossible at that time to establish a pure western medicine system from the financial cost point of view. No people believed possible to wait until there is money to set up such a system in the countryside. At that time, there was one clinic in each village with one to two “Barefoot doctor”. They walked home by home, in the field, surveyed the health conditions for the residence. It is a very great comfort to people when seeing them frequently here and there. 

“Barefoot doctor” had stethoscope and syringe in their clinic. But they used herbal therapy and acupuncture. Almost every kind of grasses in the local field is herb in their hands. It is not difficult for them to collect tens or even hundreds of herbs in the local area. Plus little growing herbs by themselves, such a clinic could deal with most of the common diseases. The herbs and the disinfectant reached smell combination between the western medicine and the Chinese medicine. The combination of the western medicine and the Chinese medicine was so simple, economy, easy to use, and effective that it is impossible for Chairman Mao not to promote it.

Nowadays, some people admire the tolerance of the western culture. They say that the western medicine can accept the Chinese acupuncture. I said to my daughter, it was Chairman Mao who promoted the development of acupuncture out of China. Acupuncture anesthesia and acupuncture for the treatment of deaf and mute was the conservative program that Chairman Mao show to foreigner visitors. The patient lied on the operation bed, the doctor cut open his abdomen and intestine, without any use of anesthesia, and the doctor handled the acupuncture needles slightly, at the same time the patient smiled and greeted to the visitors. It made the foreigner stunned. 

Now, the western medicine hospital is the last place an ordinary people would like to go, especially for farmers. The high medical cost is far beyond the affordability of ordinary people. Even in the developed western countries, the medical cost is also a heavy burden of their governments. This is the main reason that the Chinese medicine could not be combat down by the scientism in China. It is also one of the reasons that western countries pay attention to the Chinese medicine.

Ordinary people are very realistic. They choose whatever medicine system that could solve their disease. Fortunately in China, people have two medical systems to choose. The choice of the ordinary people in China determines the way of exist and the trend of TCM in China. Generally speaking, people like to seek the western medicine. Everyone wants to know clearly what happened in his body. B ultrasound detection and CT could tell you there is the disease, allows you to see it – you have right to know it. In this point, western medicine can give patient an answer. That way of first go to western medicine to have an examination, later to Chinese medicine doctor for treatment, has become the model of healthcare of some people. If I get sick, I do the same way. For example, if people have pain in stomach, they will go to hospital to have a B ultrasound check, if it is appendix inflammation and it is to broke, you need a surgery, no more use to go to a Chinese medicine doctor. If you did not find any organic disease location, there is no more use to continue the western medicine, you need to go to a Chinese medicine doctor.

Now, the Chinese medicine also develops dependence on the western medicine. If you have acuter abdomen pain, Chinese medicine doctor will consider if you have organic disease. He will also ask you to go to X-ray, or lab tests. This is right. But just as you get used to know people by face, you would tend to omit and become slow to the body shape and other body aspects. Over dependence on the western medicine tends to think things in medicine in the western medicine.

The overall healing effects by Chinese medicine are not as good as the western medicine, generally speaking.[10] I support the Chinese medicine, because the fact that the western medicine solves many diseases, but also creates many diseases. One side it is good and in another side it is bad. It is a character of modern science.

Though we can not say that the gain from the western medicine is less than our loss from due to it, but the loss is so high and so difficult to accept even if the gain is great. Take a example for a surgery therapy. If a disease can be cured without surgical operation, no one wants to enjoy that high technique. The most important, the superstition to science and the western healthy maintenance ways created huge burden to the current medicine.

With the western medical system, a disease that could be cured with simple way but is given complex therapy; that could cure by itself, but treated; that could co-exist with the body, but dealt with medical intervention. A patient who could die naturally, but make him die after heavy and painful therapies one by one for long time. A human who could live with little or no disease with healthy life style, however is maintain in so called health with a strong medical system to balance a unhealthy life style. All of these are not associated with the Chinese medicine.


Chapter 22: Annual health check, fear to death

Western medicine finds the “disease”, which can be “seen”, and the evidence for which is concrete, simple, and clear. This makes people feel satisfied and relaxed after it is removed. It creates the dependence of human on the medical technique. Medicine develops in a shell for human being to live. Western  medicine solves some diseases that are hard to solve by Chinese medicine due to lack of associated techniques. But the western medicine also at the same time supplies more sources of patients for the Chinese medicine.

Due to the promotion for the competition, consumption and so called high quality life, many people arrange their life to allow the body to “enjoy” and the spirit to “be happy”. They do not know that they are torturing their body and spirit. This is just as to eat “high quality” food may not mean good to the stomach. People chose basically a wrong life style. For such diseases due to the wrong life style, western medicine maintains it and repairs it regularly. For such life style that needs the maintenance by high technology, we should not predict it would last for ever for the reason that it is currently maintainable at this time.

For annual health check, people understand it as the annual check and maintenance for a machine. Once it has detected something wrong, even a mild disease would get big treatment. Treatment of a disease becomes a project. During the annual examination, even a person feels nothing wrong, he may be detected stone, fat liver, mass, or something similar. I have kind of fear to such annual examination. Once it is the examination time, I beg to let “disease” found in my body, not in the body of my friends. My colleges laugh and ask me why. I said: you all are going to start a “treatment” project. Some of my friends just try to find a disease even if they feel nothing wrong. Once they find one, they try to treat it. The treatment causes new disease. They then treat the new disease again. It becomes a circle and an important content of their life.

I got to pick my lab test report. I saw a woman crying with lab test report in hands. She said it detected a cancer. I handed my report to her. The report was the same. We all know that we are going to die, but are we going to cry everyday? We seem unable to accept the natural death. We regard the death a terrible thing, hardly acceptable thing. It seems that the death is out of the body nature, is a robber who comes to seize and to rape us. This makes us, when we go to hospital to visit patient, seem to draw clear line from class enemy. Especially when we go to see a later-life stage patient, we either could not face the reality, or express our sad without any restriction. This makes me also remember my friend whose upper ceiling part in the mouth has been cut off, who then died by himself by refusing eating. He wrote to me: “Let me die quietly”. This also makes me remember my mother’s master, tens of family members, every one continued whatever they supposed to do, my mother repel mosquito for her master, let her master died in quiet and in peace. Compared with Novel author Ba Jing, how happy my master is.

Many alive people talk about death. Actually the death that a healthy person talks is not a death. Alive and the death is two complete opposite and different exists and concept. One of my previous leaders liked to bring the members of the leader committee to a public tomb garden to have a meeting. At the beginning, the effects are pretty good. Sitting in and among the tomb plates, the relationship between people became pure right away. No more argument between each other. Conflict disappeared. Problems were solved. But later, he no longer brought the members to have a meeting there. He said: no use. The movement finished the meeting and drove home to the company, the questions and conflicts that have been laden down came back to the car again as your pet. The questions and problems in the alive can not be solved by the death.

One of my colleges died of liver cancer. I thought he is a hero. He is a very careful person in daily life. Even a person who know him nothing at all can blame and scold him. However, his attitude to his disease was so peace and so quiet, which makes me respect him very much. We several friends invited him to drink a soup of dog meat that he liked very much usually. It cooked by myself, a whole body of a dog. It is the last thing I want to do, but these friend said that for this case, I should not refuse. He said, he also feared to die. Upon middle night when everything is quiet, and when he himself faces the death, fear shaken him a lot and cry. However when the sun rises, he knew this day he needed to continue to live. He needed to live the whole day as an alive. So, when he came to work, he regarded his pain as usual stomach pain, and he did his job with us as usual. He died. We all went to the burning place to send him off.

My another colleague caught lung cancer. He showed his diagnosis report to all of us. One colleague said: “Not bad”. He became angry: “Not bad? You image, the name on it is not mine but yours, how do you feel?” When it is the turn to me to have a look, I imaged the name on it is mine. I felt as the sheet is the sentence to exile me away. It was the morning of the last day of the year. It was near noon when we came back. All are hurry to go home. Soon I got the call from my manager. He said the wife of the died person cried in the funeral party. No people attended the party. Then I recalled there was a funeral party. I hurried up to the funeral party, left aside everything that were needed for the new year night. I couldn’t prevent from thinking: “It is so hassle to be alive.”

We never give ourselves a chance to feel, to experience, to understand and to adapt our lives. We hand our life to doctor and allow them to handle. We did not reach the every point for the life in experience the life. What we own is the incomplete life. People in the modern life give our life a lot of reasons. But these reasons that suppose to make us feel happy could not replace the life per se. The depression, anxiety, hopeless, sadness, forcing feelings of the people in the modern time is no longer the reflection of a sick emotion, but also a real loss of the meaning of life. It is pity that people could not close the eyes upon death and they do not know what they really lost. This is as tiger, eagle, fox in am zoo, who feel some calling from the unclear spirit space, but never know what the call means.   


Chapter 23: Reasons for happy does not mean real happy

Animals in the zoo can enjoy the results of modern culture. They don’t need to worry the food, can avoid the natural enemy and can live as long as it can. In another words, we can find a lot of reasons for they to feel happy. But do they feel happy? To human being, we create more and more reasons for a happy. But the person with so many reasons of happy really feels happy? Reason can create the surface layer of the brain but not the life itself. This is as a moral could restrict the current time of the life but not whole course of a person’s life.  Sol current people got a lot of modern “diseases”. People take it for granted that primitive status is the lower status, foolish status, as we believe that the life standard of animal in the zoo is higher than those in a natural environment. The way for us to solve the depression, anxiety and hopeless is to find the “reason”. Such “reason”, in the hands of some psychologists, is a thing. Solve this “reason”, the emotional disorder would be solved. They did not think that such disorder is due to our life style. The animals in the zoo show more and more troubles. People are trying to find various reasons for them, lack of calcium, iron, zinc, but failed. The life quality of animals in the zoo as a whole is regressing. If we pay attention to the whole environment, it is not so hard to find the reason for it.

When the time I gave the birth, I bought two books. One is written by a Japanese << Child care, every aspects >>, another one is written by an America << Child care, whole aspects >>. I regarded them as East evil and Western devil. I asked one of my friends who had the baby birth the same time as I: “Which book you are going to follow?” She took the one wrote by the America: “I want to grow the baby according to science.” So, according to the book, she fed the baby every four hours the milk powder. In between, no matter how the baby cried, she would not give feeding or holding in chest any more. She said it is to educate the child a habit to eat according to time. She let the baby sleep by herself, to grow her independence. Let the baby to cry is to increase her lung volume… But in my book wrote by Japanese, it asks breast feeding, continuous to hold baby in chest, fed the baby anytime, hold the baby to sleep, allows the baby to hold nipple in mouth…. as the animals in the << Animal world >>. When my child could eat, I changed the ways to let the child to eat, according to the book. I have also consulted with my neighbors to support my development of diet for baby. My friend acted as western people, eat simple, but add addictions or supplements to the food of the child according to the book.

Two children grow up. My child is eastern from inside to outside. Her child does not appear as a western child in body shape and health. Now, her child gets nephrotic syndrome too. I felt hurry and urgent for her, so I found that Chinese medicine doctor who is very good in clinic. But my friend only believes western medicine. She said, no there is no plus mark in the urine test should mean that the disease is already cured. I said that you are using so large dose of steroid medications to maintain, and it comes and goes with symptoms, how can you say it has been cured? We should use the western medicine for emergency and use the Chinese medicine for cure. But she wouldn’t listen to me. She felt that finally her child can replace a new kidney! That doesn’t matter too much!

I really admire the current people who take the transplantation of a kidney as a small thing, so that hurt their body without limitation and do not worry the final results. I felt so pity for the child. But her mother thinks that this child is happy, since she can give a lot of reasons that this child is happy. But my daughter understand me, she knows that the reasons for happy has nothing related to the feeling of happy.

Chattered here, we cannot avoid the mental diseases world wide. Due to the fact that we are searching the disease reason logically, solve the problem according to the symptoms, passively following the disease, we seems treat the mental disease, but actually we creates the disease.

Several years ago, my mother-in-law declared to her son and daughter: she had money, she will go to nursing home for elderly. The life there is most happy. After her several times of sayings, I told her surreptitiously not to say so later. I said, the filial piety also needs to nourish again and again as that for a party. If you always said that you don’t need your children help, they would have less concept for their duty. Later, if you do not go to the nursing home, they may not agree with you. In another side, is the nursing home for elderly is so nice? After getting old, who has no personality? The elderly people met without knowing each other before, you expect who will tolerate who? Is it proving to get conflict and get upset each other? Even if you finally have some good friends there, all are old people. If one dies today, and another one might tomorrow. Who could suffer from such feeling? The best place for an old people is still the family. In a family with old and young, the family feeling is the best feeling for elderly. After that, she never talked about going to the nursing home any more.

I have a friend who is a lawyer. She is an open, outside, and cheerful lady. No one expected that her menopause syndrome could be so strong. She could cry anytime, with heavy tear. On the court, the chief justice has declared start of the court, but she asked to wait a movement. She would go out to the corridor to cry for a while. Then cleared tear and went back to the court. The wife of my co-worker, also has menopause syndrome. She closed all the curtains in the house and sat there in the dark with upset.

To help those women who are under suffering, we tried a lot of means: eat medicine, various drugs, traveling, parties… After a while, I asked the lawyer friend: do you still cry? She said, no longer. I felt happy, and said: now it is over. She said, what is over! I want to jump down the building! This makes me remember Dang Yinchao[11]. Her menopause syndrome was also very severe. Before, we said that a woman who got the strong menopause syndrome is due to her narrow spirit and less life experience, but lady Dong Yinchao is what a lady? She went the Long March in China! She is beside the Premier, what situation she did not see before? And, the medical conditions for her are the best in China. Therefore, the explanation does not stand.  


Chapter 24: Menopause and early date

These two ladies with the menopause syndrome get better very quick without any treatment, though they make us have nothing to help them. They became grandmother. Each one has a healthy grandson! They smiled, no any sign of the menopause syndrome. Due to the late marriage, there are many women who did not see grandson upon their fifty years of age. Some lady used estrogen kind of steroid drugs to maintain their body and skin, to retard the speed of age. Therefore around me, there are ladies who are fifty years of old, seek a male partner, six to seven years younger than themselves. There is one who married a youth of thirty years of old. I have a colleague who is twenty eight years of old. His mother-in-law found a new father-in-law who is the same old as him! People have already got used to this, feel that it is freedom, openness, and advance, and believe that people will live in a more happy life. Is this true and is the thing really so?

Some basic rationality in the social life could last long time without change, because it has been corrected and tested again and again by life logic. The efforts trying to break it always show as a new, unique and special face. But they are again and again suppressed and corrected. It means that one time of proven does not prove anything: history needs repeated confirms. When people were young, they swear not to be conservative to the history when they get old, and would be the power to improve the running of the history. Now, it is found that conservative is the natural job of elderly. They are the necessary brake of the history. Among the current old people, it is rare that old people admit old age, wish to be old and not pretend young.  

In primitive tribes, so called old people are the women in menopause, and are the leaders. Their alarm and doubt, and stubborn mind were the innate leader characters. When this character had no place to work, the women expressed as the current menopause syndrome. Nowadays women in the menopause syndrome take medicine, since doctor said this is a disease. But both my mother and my grandmother said it is due to the dislocation of the life role. Human life develops as the plant, following the season. Human life cannot walk by thinking, but by live in the life course. When the human is in it, he would feel it. This is the important role of life in the thinking. Therefore, whenever there is something we cannot understand, we need action to do it, so to promote the thinking. To refuse growing would not be accepted by the natural law.

My mother-in-law still chatted and worried this and that at home, but she never more mentioned going to the nursing home for elderly. If I open a nursing home for elderly, I must also open a kindergarten, as in my home town, people opens a steel mill (with most male workers) but also a cotton mill (with most female workers). With the nursing home for elderly and the kindergarten together, it is better for both the elderly and the children. Let us have a look at the nursing home for elderly in foreign countries. Old people sit on a wheelchair, line by line, having sunbathe. All are with Alzheimer disease. Even if he is a healthy person, sitting as such would make him fool. How nice there would be child running around! In China, there are no so many elderly with Alzheimer disease. The elderly who lives at home, who enjoys the family life, and who has rich feelings in life, does not get this disease easily. Therefore, the best way for the elderly is not so called scientific style, but a natural style.

I did not feel proud of my mother when I was young, since father always criticize mother from the scientific point of view. Nowadays the points criticizing the Chinese medicine, to me, is too old, since I have heard it from my father many years ago and again and again. I accepted my father’s point completely, believed that mother was very fool. So many people advised her to change into a western medicine doctor, so nice job, so good hospital, so bright future, but she refused. Is she not so foolish?

I have felt shame to my mother. At that time, a patient who suffered from something as “early date” or  “brutality love” dared not to go to a hospital, came to my mother for help. Seeing my mother was helping them, I felt that mother was no idea of right and wrong, of white and black, of love and hate, and she was extreme foolish. The role of mother in China made her work also as priest. I saw her help a not-married girl with belt around the belly, with the aim the belly was not so big, so it would be easier to give birth later. At that years, the reputation of a girl was equal to life. If her reputation was damaged, her life would be over too. Mother tried her best to help the girls.

Mother seemed no moral feeling either. There was a couple of adverse youth. They were not only in early date, but also had early pregnancy. They gave birth without telling any people. They were not only spurned by the public, but also refused out of the door by the parents. They found a broken shell to live. You can image how hard their hard life could be. Their baby always got sick. They have no money but crying. Mother treated the baby without asking any payment. She also found something for the baby to eat and to use.

Mother helped them and encouraged them to live along. I criticized my mother for what she was doing. You can image how the public spurned the young couple! I remember one year, they brought their baby and came to my home for new year greeting. Mother was the only one accepted them. They have the boy had a “Dika” coat with the money they saved whole of the year. The coat was pretty new, bright and hard, looked pretty fun. The girl run around the boy, stretching the coat front and back, chattering to my mother: aunt, you see, our live is better, you see, our live is better. The boy stood vertical, showing my mother their better life. I of course curled my lips at that time, though I feel sorry now to them when I remember this. Mother stretched his coat slightly, said: good, so good, live as such. Is it better and better?

However, my mother whom I thought had no moral feeling, refused to treat a patient one day.

There was a director of a community association in another community. She was a forty years old. She found a fold in a public toilet. There was a dead baby in it but died. She cried laud and searched each home. She then took out a girl who was blood in whole body and lied on bed, brought her out in street, expressing shame penalty to her.

One day, this lady came to mother for treatment. Mother said, you can go to find other doctor to help you. I couldn’t help you. She asked the reason. Mother said: are you also a woman? Did you have baby birth before? How hard your heart is to treat the girl that way? She met such thing and she dealt with this without telling any people. How difficult and how hard for her? You did not help her at all, but hurt her! Are you a human?

Though I opposed mother’s behavior very much, even thought it means her foolish, I was affected by her. When I was in middle school, my classmate started stirring of love. I was among this, and I saw them as mother seeing a patient. If there was early dated, the crowd all would attack him/her. The way of the attacking was so overwhelming that it showed that the crowd was with the same emotional status as the early dated, but they did not know at all. The early dated was isolated from the crowd. My classmates drawn clear line away from the early dated. I remember one morning when I came into the classroom, there was some bad words to the early dated on the black board. The crowd laughed, waiting to see the awkward of the early dated. I went up to rub it off with rubber. Some classmates came and pull me aside. The teacher came in when we were in such stretching each other.


Chapter 25: Reasons for happy and happy feeling

There was one of such early dated girl. She did no come to school after attacked as such. There was something with her, so the teacher asked us to find her. No one wanted to go, because they had already drawn a clear line from her. Our teacher knew that I did not want to draw clear line with anyone, so asked me to find her. My classmate told me that her mother knew she was in early dated, beaten her heavily and locked her in a storeroom.

I went to her home. She indeed was not at home. I found her in the dark corner or the storeroom. She was very sick. Her disease was kidney disease. Her covering evaporated dirty urine odor. I inherited from my mother the humanism spirit. No matter how bad her moral, she is now sick to die. I wanted to find her mother to reason, she stop me. I said, is she your adapted mother? The people at that time, how unbelievable they were! How could they look their daughter in moral eyes? I cannot run away without help her. I hold her up and sent her to my mother. After handing her to my mother, I left her body to my mother, but I tried to save her from spirit. I sent her books in philosophy, among which was the book of Plato << Ideal state >>. I was very strong in principle at that time. I would not keep close relationship with them, though I did not draw clear line from them. Though she regarded me as her friend for I saved her life, and my classmates found that I helped her so thought that we were friends. They even had a meeting discussing if they needed to draw a clear line from me and also to isolate me. I remembered the class leader asked me why I did not draw clear line from her, since the things in the world crowd as group. I refused to explain to him. I still did what did. I did care what others looked at me and what they talked. Is this not due to the influence from mother, that made me look things beyond moral?

The moral and the science, compared with mother’s concept of nature, are small concept. They are both accepted by mother. Compared to my father’s science, moral, and his theory, I more felt the theory so biased.

In the western culture, there is an extreme top and highest ability God who suppresses and dominates human being. Human, with primary guilty, is lamb who missed road. Human is low in status and foolish. On the other side in the east culture, the human and the god is a unit. Eastern people never isolate the God out of themselves. In fact they did so. Why we should look down our own feeling and ability of reorganization? The life itself is mysterious. Why there is no any truth in our feeling that come from evolution? To what I felt, what we need to do is to recognize it, understand it, analyze it but not to throw it away or look down it.

The development of the western “science” is always to open one road with the compensation to block nine other roads. For example, many people do not get used to marriage life, they can get many mental disorders even if they live in a “happy” married life. These people find many reasons for they being happy. They tried to convince him/her self they should feel happy, but the body and emotion do not listen to the convinces. Therefore, it happened that people live in the happy but do not feel that they are happy. When people do not live in the happy, they think that rich life is happy. When they are really in the happy life, they found that what they own is the reasons of happy, but not the happiness per se. Western culture is just to us the reasons for a happy when we want happy, or give us a string when we need music.

In fact, many hardly understandable people like to follow the feeling and to seek natural life. But the reasonable persons like to suppress themselves in the social life with reasons. Nowadays, in our life, if we get sick, we have hospital, we have three meals or more every day; we have warm coat and covering, but the sufferings by us are not less than those lived in primitive times. Do people really need to live naturally even once? The question is: our life has been not natural and it cannot be natural anymore. But our feeling and our heart remains to seek the natural environment. This is as a tiger out of zoon. It stares far away side with hollow eye light. It feels unhappy but does not know the reason for the unhappy. Even if it has wisdom, what it could find is only the reason of happy, since it does not know that it needs to run in the field. It has never run, never seen a running, and hardly to image the running either.

As this tiger, many of us feel empty, loneliness, disgusting, but do not know what the opposite aspects of these feelings are, not know what we are lack and what we really need. So, people live with eating, drinking, playing to meet the empty heart. Those of people who suffer from such emotional disorders are hard to evaluate if this eating, drinking, or playing is really the “medicine” to their emotional disorders. They do not know if such life is what they need and whether it could really fill up their empty.

Without any reasons, people do not feel such emotional disorders. Emotional disorder suggests us to pay attention to our life style, and to see if we need to change it. Reason does not solve all mental disorders. The western reason culture appears as humanity from the surface, pays attention to human rights, is human-focused, and deals with human also with reason. It regards the human as reason human being. It actually changes the human being as not a human being. That the looking down the feeling by the science has created lot of turf and obstacle questions. 

Chinese medicine makes diagnosis by feeling. It appears not scientific. But is the feeling really not valuable and very primitive? In the pulse diagnosis, the feeling is very important. The feeling is also very important in many jobs. That the robot can not replace human being is due to the fact that it can not assemble a feeling, even if we input lot of signals and information to it. One of the high level products produced by our brain that is such a high level computer, is the feeling. We did not use it in full. Science makes our feeling regressed and it regards our feeling no use. Possibly due to this, some one believe that Chinese medicine is a witchcraft.


Chapter 26: Mental disorder or normal people

I thought my mother was foolish, not only because her moral feeling was not as strong as ordinary people. Even if when faced patient with mental disorder, she did not deal with them as ordinary people do. Mother stayed with them naturally, never felt fun with them. Mother gave them medicine, acupuncture, and chatted with them. Therefore I did not feel that the mental disorder was a special disease. If mother was very busy, she would let me chat with them. This made me also skillful to chat with people with mental disorder. Even upon now, I could chat very well with a room of patients with mental disorders. It is wrong if you think that I chat with them using skilful technique and cheat them. I chat with them the same way as I chat with any other people. They could find out if you do not chat with them with a normal way. They are not all foolish.

It influenced me that mother did not deal with the mental disorder patients as making a fun as by western medicine. This makes me have also friends with mental disorders, beside many normal friends. Among people, those with absolute mental disorder are rare, and those with absolute normal mental condition are also rare. Most people have minor disorder. I know this, so I know how to talk with them and how to stay with them. When you understand what is the meaning for their mental disorder, at the same time you also know they are not different from ordinary people in nature, you simply chat with them according to their special way of thinking, and you would not create conflict with them to ignore their disease status. In history, how many wisdom, who were believed crazy men, got tortured. How many people who were tied on the pole to burn to death without called mad or witches? Is such history not away from us now?

There is a boy. His mother had mental disorder. This made this boy bear heavy emotional stress and worry that he himself might have similar problem. The concern from others also implied to him very much. He then acted in a strange way, reaching the edge of the spirit broken. I have had a deep talk with him about what is mental disease. I said, the development of the human brain is not in a balanced matter. Therefore we have large space to develop. The reason for human being is superior to animals, and human being is the top of the animal peak, is due to the imbalanced brain. In another words, the development of the human brain is due to the imbalance. Or, it can be said that it is due to the mental disease that pushes the evolution of the human brain. Even those of mental disorder who loss their body and emotional control completely are paying their personal costs for the development of whole human being.

We, as relatively normal people, should feel thanks to them. Same as human being, they are created as hardly able to take care of themselves. So, the human being is not fare from birth. We, relatively normal people should take the responsibility to care them and love them. I said to my daughter: if you have more talent than others, it is not your credit to enjoy more material enjoyment than others, but that the God asked you to take more responsibility to care others. Showing your talent to others and boasting it and to laughing at others is the prostitution to the talent. Do not feel upset for others not match your need. The brain under development in imbalance, and the social life that goes to diversity step by step, both already make people’s spirit in an extreme depression status. If you want to be a good doctor, you cannot only pay attention to their body, but also their spirit and emotion. They cannot be separated away. My daughter learned psychology. She has already realized the close relationship between the emotion, spirit and the disease.

No doubt, our thinking is scattered. Our spirit is in a chaos. Due to the fact that we lose our traditional thinking and believing, accepted only the science but not their religion of the western world, all make our life and emotion conflict and crashed.  

Mother’s tolerance attitude influenced me. However, when I came into the society, I was not tolerated by others due to my similar generous and tolerance as my mother. Mother’s tolerance was not blamed by others, but I felt very heavy stress. If I do not express angry to so called bad people, I would be regarded as bad people too. I would be “guilty” for my help to the bad and evildoer. Sometimes, I would have even worse condition than these evildoers. I was worse than the evildoers, since the evildoer do evil because they are evildoers but I do the evil when people think that I am good people. So I prostituted their feeling. So I was worse than these evildoers. At this time, I found that not every one can be a humanist as my mother. Priest can face the evil, but ordinary people can only do pure good things. Good people can only do good thing within a limited scope, not expand it unlimitedly. At this time, I regretted again not learn to be a Chinese medicine doctor.

The certainty for my daughter being a Chinese medicine doctor, is because I wanted to clear her mind, to correct her some wrong life style, to be able to take care of herself, to be independent in spirit, to have a personal skill, to be able to learn for life, to be able to do something even if she is old, to let her serve the people, to be quiet and mature, to have her own career, to let her moral recognized, and to let her love China. I have a lot of considerations to her. All need her being a Chinese medicine doctor.

To talk in broadness, I hope China could pick the loss culture again. It is not a broad road to follow the western. We have had a big curve. We should not repeat this big curve again, as the curve I walked in learning and understand the Chinese medicine should be walked back by my daughter. It is time now. We can be quiet down, think and consider carefully, in any aspects. I do not support or agree to restore the eastern Culture by restoring the Confucian. That does not work. My daughter also read the Confucian, but it is for her to understand the idea of old generation about nature, to nourish her feeling.  


Chapter 27: Jewels and breads

Nowadays, many Chinese medicine doctors are unable to feel pulse. I say from internet that one Chinese medicine doctor said: why should feel the pulse? Feeling pulse is as doing the B ultrasound and CT. If we have the time to feel the pulse, we would rather let the patient have B ultrasound and CT, both of which are quick and precise. I know him right away that he is not a real Chinese medicine doctor.

Some doctor really want to learn the pulse diagnosis. They tried several years but still uncertain the results. They therefore doubt the scientific meaning and the reproducibility of the pulse diagnosis. My daughter learned very fast, that makes surprise for those who have practiced the pulse diagnosis for several years. I don’t feel surprised. If one doubts the scientific truth of the feeling, uses science as a weapon to arm one’s mind, so suppresses one’s own feeling, makes the feeling lose it sharpness, how could the one master the pulse diagnosis? My daughter practiced understanding of the nature by the traditional culture, which made her mind pure and quiet, so her feeling is sharp. Of course no wonder that she could feel the pulse quick and precise. She does not feel hard to learn the Chinese medicine, but likes to learn. She feels the pulse is as not for feeling the organs, but for Yin-Yang and Five-elements, even the Ba Gua and Yun Qi. If we understand the pulse diagnosis as the B ultrasound and CT, we could of course use the B ultrasound and CT to replace the pulse diagnosis. Pulse feeling is not to feel which organ has cancer, but to establish an image, similar to the electric mimic by USA. How could the B ultrasound and CT replace the wholistic thinking with image feeling?

That Chinese medicine is Chinese medicine, since nothing could replace its imaging thinking. Even if there would be a super computer as the “Deep Blue” with so high wisdom, what it would not be able to have, compared with the human brain, is the feeling. Its wisdom would not be able to develop into a feeling level. This is the aspect in the Chinese medicine, which is impossible to be exceeded by a computer.

The feeling of Chinese medicine to thing is not based on void or empty. Its feeling is also very sharp.

There were many people coming to my daughter to feel their pulse. Sometimes, after feeling the pulse, she rubbed her hands and told me, the disease of this man was very severe and complex. It is hard to treat. She felt cold feeling from her fingers up to the direction of wrist. There was another patient. He waited until everyone left. Then he asked my daughter to feel his pulse. After feeling, my daughter said, uncle, you could go to my master. He was good at the male disease. The man asked the address of her master and said thanks again and again.

I told my daughter to protest her feeling on purpose and to change the knowledge into wisdom, and change the wisdom into feeling. This is a knife, knowledge is iron, and the wisdom is the metal, and the feeling is the sharp edge of the knife.

The traditional culture needs to be promoted, but the way of the promotion, to me, does not work. We must depend on something useful in practice. Without practical bases, nothing would work. Though the western culture has some weakness, it has practical usage to fulfill its reason to exist. Human evolution needs less and lighter burden. The value of a block of gold, to the human on the way, is not as value as a block of bread. History usually chose to throw jewels but chose to keep the bread. This is not a question needing discuss. No need to ask why. Therefore, when I read from internet that a young professor swears to restore the Confucian with his whole life, I felt sorry and sad. I told my daughter, don’t make the traditional culture as jewel, it should be made into bread.

Science makes the Chinese brain developed in part, but regressed in whole. It is one of such mistakes to believing that the current generation is clever than the old. This is as the tiger in zoo looks at the tiger in the wild field. We hold and own many theory. The theory fills up our mind and life so that there is no any empty space in it. When I was young, I met an old man of Faust. He closed himself in a small and dark room to study his theory. He behaved mad from time to time, tear books and beat broken ink bottles. I did not know what to do. I sent a small fish tank on his table, with two fishes in it. I also put a basin of flower beside the fish basin. The flower bloomed bigger than the fish basin. I thought, he sat in front of the table, would he not be attracted by the fish and the flower? Would he not realize that he is alive, not in a tomb? Would he not think to go out, under the sunshine? One week later when I visited him, I found that my fishes and the flowers died in that dark small room. They stood there died. No longer later, he died too with not closed eyes. At that time, I realized that theory could kill alive things. It could tear away the whole thing in pieces and kill the alive.

Someone believes that it would not be a science without abstracting things. But for mathematics, the flower of the science, mathematic scientist Tong Qiuchen studied it according to the Confucian. So, the eastern culture can tolerate, hold and endure the highest fruit of the western culture. 

Abstract is not another term for the superior. That believing the science is super than the Yin-Yang , than the Five-elements, and believing that the jewel is better than the bread, is the result of evaluation from science point of view. Even for those who advocate the Confucian is jewel, thought that people would throw away the bread but pick up their jewel. But the first thing I support my daughter to learn is the acupuncture. I said, when you are together with the western medicine doctor, When you are empty in hands, have nothing to help you, but you can still solve the disease, then you can regard you a doctor. This is the basic requirement for a doctor. Don’t expect to be an expert. So called expert, out of university or hospital, is no longer an expert. They cannot even solve a small illness.

Doctor is not going to produce space shaft. Most of the doctors need to treat illness for the ordinary people. Therefore, don’t make yourself as a jewel. Don’t let the Chinese ordinary people die with lots of “jewels” in their chests. You should make the knowledge into your power and force so to treat a disease.


Chapter 28: Herbs or poisons

My mother gave patient herbs as gave them gold. She usually gave them only one dose, telling patient not to continue it after three hours, since it is enough time to tell the effective of the herbs. If the herb does not work, it is needed to consider something else to try, so not to delay the disease. It was rare for her to give patient for more than three doses. She never wrote big formula either. She used Jing Fang, (Note: here it means the formula from Shanghan Lun), the amount of the herbs was also small. Patients always asked to increase the doses, saying that the Chinese medicine works slow. Mother rejected the saying that the herbs work slow. She said, if the herb used is correct, it does not work slow at all. Many times, she even did not use herbs. When I was sick, I ate herbs not often at all. To those who suffered from stomach pain, skin disease, and wind pain, mother usually did not hurry up to give them herbs, but tried to understand their life conditions first, since these kinds of diseases are usually due to the stress in emotion. When human being tries to convince himself he is happy, his body does not admit it and shows rejection. Now, it is more important to smooth the body and emotion than to give herbs. It needs the wisdom to point out the key point of the problem for the patients. This is as the tiger grows up in zoo, which never knows the reason for its depression.

Furthermore, the personal heart nature is different. If we allocate person according to the Five-element theory, then not only the standard for health, but also the ways for the treatment, as well as the psychological needs, should all be different. For example, I convince the Water person and the Wood person quiet and tolerance when meeting trouble, but not the Fire person or Metal person. If I convince the Fire person to tolerate, it would be worse. If he can really follow me, he would develop cancer in his abdomen. Therefore many people think that I have no principle. This is the point. For the same thing, when it comes to me, for someone, I recommend them to endure, but for others, I may convince them to release the emotion, all depending on the individual difference. Theory is a non-alive thing, but human is alive thing. The non-alive thing should work for the alive human being.  

According to my mother’s principle of not take medicine and take less medicine, the current people’s way of the health maintenance would be rejected by her. Taking herbs for a long time to balance the Yin and Yang, so to set up a false balance, it would waste and regress the body ability to balance by itself. Once this false balance is hard to keep, the body would show a “toxic” syndrome. The way of my mother using herbs as using gold does not due to the theory that every herb is toxic.

I met an herbalist in internet. He recommended people do not take herb with too careless manner, since “any herb might be a poison”. I agree with him that the herb should not be taken with careless. It is wrong to take herbs as western medicine. Take herbs without Chinese medicine diagnosis usually makes the disease worse. If one takes the herbs with opposite effects, or eats the not-matching herbs, or if the herbs are no longer needed but continues to take them, the herbs in these conditions are “poison”.

The same herb, if it matches the disease, it is not a toxicant. Chinese medicine use so called toxicant herbs quite often. Mother followed her three masters to learn the Chinese medicine. Once she practiced the clinic for a while, she would start to learn from another master again for three years. Her last master, I saw him when I was young. His family name is Tian. I called him grandfather Tian. His clinic was full with patients. He acted as a general to order the soldiers. I now understand why he had that self satisfied feeling. Mother followed him, mostly to open the view and activate her thinking in medicine. She never dared to use herbs as brave as him. Grandfather Tian had a bossiness in using herbs. Badou and Pishuang were common herbs he used. Even if for the patients with heavy bleeding from uterus, he used “opening herbs”. He dared to let the opposite herbs to “opposite” in the body.

Mother also used toxic herbs of course, but the dose was much less than grandfather Tian. For woman, it was so, lacking the bossiness, but still more than other Chinese medicine doctors. At the time when she worked in a hospital, there were some “toxic” herbs allowed from the higher authority committee to use there, but the herbal shop of the hospital dared not to have them. Mother said the herbal shop should have them but the shop manager refused to have, saying that there was no use. The hospital did not allow the Chinese medicine doctor to use the “toxicant or poison” herbs. Mother so went to the healthcare authority asking for the herbs. The authority thought she represented the hospital, so gave them to mother. Mother so prepared the herbal formula by using these herbs. The manager of the hospital heard this, so criticize my mother that she had no sense of organization and no sense of following rule of the hospital. They requested her to admit her wrong behavior. Mother could not understand it, refused to do as they asked. Later it was father who wrote a paper report on behalf of my mother, admitting the wrong doing.

When I hold the certificate from police station, bought the highly toxic herbs home, and prepared the herbs, I needed to fold my head all over. I felt symptoms of poisoning from the herbs. However, when mother used these herbs to very sick patients, they did not show any sign of poisoning, but got better soon. Then where is the so called toxicant or poison? They are poisons and toxicants to a healthy person, not to a sick person? This phenomenon cannot be explained by the western medicine at all, but by the Chinese medicine can.

The herbs are used for balancing the Yin and Yang, e.g. we use the Yin or Yang of the herbs to correct the Yang or Yin status of the body. For a healthy body, its Yin and Yang are under balance. The use of the herbs broke the balance, so the body showed the poison reaction. For the body that needs the extreme Yang or Yin power of the toxic herbs, the toxic herbs function in a way whatever ordinary herbs can not. At this time, if you talk about the poison or toxicant to the sick body, it would be ridiculous. From this example, it reminds us that we should not take the herbs without care. Furthermore, herb is not toxicant if it is used matching the disease conditions. Therefore, there is no way to use the herbs correctly without understand the Yin-Yang and Five-element theory. It is really ridiculous that the western medicine wants to remove the “toxic” of the herbs away. It is a wrong comment that “every herb is a toxicant”. This is a common misunderstanding even by a Chinese medicine herbalist.

I saw one time in which my mother used the herbs as general and with bossiness. I could remember it since it was something to do with me. At the time when I graduated, I had to go to countryside to work and to live there, according to the political and social environment at that time. My mother, who was so behind of the social situation, did not want me to go. She wanted me to remain in the city. I laughed at mother a wishful thinking. Mother however found the girl, whose adoptive father was the authority leader who could make the decision. Mother said to her: “I know that your adoptive mother lied on the bed due to sick years and years. You can tell your adoptive father, I promise to cure her disease within two months, under the condition not to let my daughter go to the countryside.” The manager did not believe that my mother could cure the disease of his wife, so agreed right away. Mother really cured her disease. After two months, my mother made his wife walk as everyone. The manager was so happy. He not only helped me remained in the city, but also allocated me to a state-owned farm to work. For this case, mother used all of the herbs that she saved in the bottom of her case and also used some of such “bossiness” herbs.


Chapter 29: Degenerated Chinese medicine

There is no such saying that a given herb cures a specific symptom. There are some people who regard the herbs as anti-flu medicine. Once they catch common cold or flu, they drink the herbal tea. I oppose such way to use herbs. For common cold, they might not be the same, when it occurs in different seasons or in different years. Though the common cold belongs to the surface condition in Chinese medicine, and it can be treated with surface depletion therapy, the depletion therapies again are different: there are at least two kinds of the surface depletion formula to choose. The treatment also depends on the geographic zone, so the herbs used are also different. It is forbidden in the Chinese medicine to use herbs without Chinese medicine diagnosis and assessment. But, how to make the assessment and diagnosis? How many of the Chinese medicine doctor know the pulse feeling? Currently, Chinese medicine also depends on the symptoms and modern technique detection. It is hard for the Chinese medicine doctor to create an image of the body condition in their mind, so to perform a treatment that is quite different from the western medicine. Overall, the decline and withered of Traditional Chinese medicine is in a whole scale.

The Chinese medicine education and training needs the one-to-one model between the student and the master, not the large lecture room model as used in the western medicine education system. The current classroom and textbook education system does not suit the Chinese medicine. The textbook used in the school is in colloquial language, not the classic Chinese expression. Translation from the old Chinese to the current colloquial language distorted the original meaning. The imaging thinking became furthermore weak after filtered by the logical thinking. Think, what is the result? After five years of education in the medical school or university, the graduates have blank feeling in heart.

Chinese medicine looks no longer original Chinese medicine, but western medicine does not look as western medicine either. For the western medicine, if you want to learn, you can master its knowledge and you can practice it. In Chinese medicine, there is no “knowledge”. Without organized according to the Yin-Yang and Five-element, what the students learn in the school is a heap of garbage. It is impossible to learn Chinese medicine one technique by one technique, as in the western medicine. Chinese medicine is not a technique, since you cannot measure it or quantify it. It is so big that there is no edge. It is also too small to have a core. Where can you find its corresponsive mass, and to what can be used as a parameter to measure it? This is the reason that my mother opposed me since I don’t want to recite the Chinese medicine bible books, but only want to know which herb is used for what disease, and that she refused to teach me Chinese medicine. Knowing which herb works for which disease is only the surface of the Chinese medicine, not its true power. However, even for graduates from Chinese medicine universities in China, they cannot master which disease symptom needs which herbs, not to speak of the Chinese medicine believing. So they tend to change to western medicine.

As a western medicine doctor, basically it is enough to learn what you learned. But as Chinese medicine doctor, you cannot be a good Chinese medicine doctor, if you cannot exceed the moral limitation, cannot exceed the environment in which we are living, cannot exceed our current time, have no natural believing for the meaning of life and the world, cannot master the meaning of the world where we are living in a wholistic view. If so, you cannot start you diagnosis and set up any treatment schedule. You would feel complicated and hard to master the core in learning the Chinese medicine, and don’t know where to go, how to learn and how to practice. From this point, Chinese medicine is indeed hard to learn, especially in the current time when the science is dominated.

During the previous years, the reason that I did not get education from my mother is that the government did not accept the model of master education in Chinese medicine. It accepts the western medicine education model. Without certificate of education in school, there would have no qualification to participate the license examination. The certificate could only be get from Chinese medicine university. The students who go to the university are those youth who have their brains washed for twelve years by the “science” and those who are successfully washed. They have refusing and rejecting mind when they meet the Yin-Yang and Five-element that are completely different from what they have learned before. They would naturally treat the Chinese medicine theory by the western medicine. In addition, the classroom education according to the departments separated along with the clinic in hospital, and to the disease classifications, in the Chinese medicine universities broken the Chinese medicine. Chinese medicine was handed to the students as a generalized, scientifically formatted, and life-destroyed matter. I thought, if my mother did not get education from her masters, but got it from classroom, what she would then be?

It is very ridiculous that, there are so many professors in medical university, especially those in the Chinese medicine universities, can not treat diseases, but only stand in front of blackboard of the classroom. It is also a very ridiculous thing that Chinese medicine is separated into different departments. Their doctors in each department have no communication each other in clinic!

My daughter started her master education and started clinic study, when she finished the second year education in a Chinese medicine university. She decided firmly to be able to practice Chinese medicine, able to have the pulse diagnosis and write herbal formula, when she graduated. For this, I have nothing to say. It is up to her to try.

The hospital model does not suit the Chinese medicine, based on the experience of my mother’s practice. Dividing the Chinese medicine into different department, only allowing the herbs prepared in the herbal station, not allowing doctor to prepare his own herbs, and not allowing prepare the herbs in ahead, all are the reasons for this comment.

Real Chinese medicine is actually restricted in hospital as their hands and feet tied. Now I understand why my mother decided to leave the hospital and chosen to work by her self. It is not only due to her personality, but also to the Chinese medicine that binds her, that made her reject the hospital model.

My daughter’s master is from the one-to-one education model. He was very skillful. Patients came to him even from other provinces. But he had no certificate. He was invited by a hospital with a short time contract. My daughter said, once the higher lever leaders came, they would ask him his history of education – certificate, which making him very self-abased. He was invited in the Chinese medicine hospital and it was his contribution that paid the payments to staff in the whole hospital. From beginning, my daughter could not understand why he did not write Jing formula[12] but big formula[13]. Later, she understood that he needed to care the income of the whole hospital. Having real skill but no certificate made him very difficult in many things. He needed to pass the examination for the self education to get the lowest certificate. Every morning he needed to see 40 to 50 patients. He needed to prepare homework for the certificate exam, including the English as well. Though he was a Chinese medicine doctor, his body was weak. He had no time to have a rest.

To get the certificate, my daughter needed to pass all the exams for western medicine. She also needed to learn politic, the English, and lots of western medicine lessons. She in addition learned and got one specialist certificate and another. She needed to go to clinic practice, acupuncture, tuina… When other students in the university could feel relaxed, she had to stick to the study. When the teacher stood in front of the blackboard to read the textbook, she studied by her self. All happened when she refused, on purpose, the western thinking manner. She made joke with me: let the brain shift as such, would it be broken?


Chapter 30: My daughter

Education from master, such one-to-one education system, may allow a pure and absolute Chinese medicine doctor. My daughter studied in Chinese medical university. She needed also learn western medicine at the same time. Under this condition, it seems impossible in theory to learn both Chinese medicine and the western medicine. This is indeed an experiment, to combine the western medicine way of thinking with the Chinese medicine way of thinking. If it has been seen in B ultrasound and CT the cancer mass, try not to think to cut it off. Is this very difficult? I told my daughter: several times of evolutions of human brain were to make the impossible to possible. Abstract is a development and an overcome, so is imaging thinking. The combination of these two overcomes is a new overcome. I believe that human brain has hidden ability to make the impossible into possible. Even in the western world, people there also correct the extreme that is caused by their ways of thinking. For example in court, the judge needs to be high integrity and good reputation. When with complex cases, what the public depends on him, is not his knowledge, education history, or his power, but his feeling that comes from various life experience. People respects him very much for his freedom in adjust, judge and heart feeling, not needs him to give explanation.

When I worked as a teacher in a middle school, I have had a feeling of inability, since I clearly saw the multiple possibility of the development for the children, but the school only allows them one way, and allows them to fulfill one possibility. So called education is not to develop and fulfill the multiple possibility, but to deplete such possibility, by the name of repairing the small trees. To me, it is almost as murderer. The “science” products by the school education system are with low rate of passing the inspiration. The small part among the many non-science products is the non-developed, non-science thinking. I have tried to educate the students to think in a way of science thinking, but the result was no satisfied, indicating that the students are not interesting to such way of science thinking. In this case, rather than to teach the rabbit swim, and turtle to run, it would be better to let them go by themselves. Since the eastern people are more good at image thinking, let them as Japanese, to mimic the western culture to about 80%, but allow them to explore their image thinking to the extreme in their best area. Is this not good?

Nowadays, there is a hot discussion whether Chinese medicine is science or not. To say if it is science, I would rather say that it is not a question. What’s matter if the Chinese medicine is science or not. For the past twenty years, how much the science has developed? The book << Baby, every aspects >> published twenty year ago is very not scientific if it is read today. But a weak, sick child, growing in a way according to the way recommended from this book, now has grown to twenty years of old. Could science take this responsibility? What I learned thirty years ago about the definitions of the life, the universe, the material, the particle, now has been changed and corrected in a very large amount, even quite opposite to the previous knowledge. Who knows, after another thirty years, how much our current knowledge will be changed and corrected then? The development of the science will prove the truth of the Chinese medicine. As a comparison, if the backward state of the Chinese medicine means it unchanged during the past two thousands of years, I would rather like that it did not change, since it is just proving its forever truth. Should a truth change itself again and again? For example in the baby nourish, the more “advanced”, new, and scientific way, the more dangerous and more harmful it is. The best and safe way is the most traditional way and natural way.

Thanks that to criticize in theory does not solve the problem in practice. Let someone spend their time to prove if a bread or a jewel is more useful. The fast development of the western medicine actually creates an enough space for the Chinese medicine. The high costs in the healthcare system make even the most developed countries hard to take. The current healthcare system in our country even raised more practical problems hard to solve. This also creates the chance for Chinese medicine to develop. Chance should be mastered. It would not come back after lose it. History is so fare. Though the Chinese medicine is destroyed to pieces in the past hundreds of years, it has such a historical chance now.

Now, what is needed is to follow Chairman Mao’s idea: to surround the city with the countryside, to go to a road of combination of the Chinese medicine and western medicine theory and practice, to combine the Chinese medicine idea of healthcare, health maintenance and treatment, and nature and human being life. Promoting the Chinese medicine with traditional culture, and promote the restoration of the traditional culture with the Chinese medicine. I wish the exist and the development of the Chinese medicine could leave our nation a method allowing it uses this method to save itself when the time is so difficult for the whole nation, as I have hoped its philosophy core helps my daughter being peace, quiet, warm, natural and calm.

It could meet her wish to be a real Chinese, to learn the Chinese medicine. Allow my daughter able to help others, have something for living, be independent, have chance to fulfill an achievement, learn even at the old age, keep human dignity at any time of difficulties and hardship, and have her own life believing and aim.

To be impressive and dignified Chinese, it is easy to say than to do. Being a civil servant, how could you do this? Being a job-lost employee, how would you do this? Being an owner of a small booth, expelled by a police again and again, a hungry farm worker, how can you do this? Whether a man could be an impressive and dignified Chinese, also depends on his career. Chairman Mao made comment to Dr. Bethune[14] a dignified man, a pure man, a moral man and a man helpful to the public. If he were not a doctor, it might be very difficult to get such comments.

A thin silk string, went from my mother to me and then to my daughter, expending and expending. What it expends is the blood relationship, the Chinese medicine, the Chinese culture, and the Chinese feeling. This thin string waves, emitting the warm feelings of the love and warm, to others, that is special from eastern people. Wish we all be able to help each other and go to tomorrow.


Chapter 31: Practice Chinese medicine by pure heart

The phone calls to my home now are mostly for my daughter from patients. My daughter commonly asks them to go to her master. She said: “I am a student, I cannot practice medicine before I get the doctor’s license.”  She does not go to the internet to see the discussion about Chinese medicine. She smiled to my concern about the internet discussion. She said: “There is no need to arguer with others. Whether Chinese medicine could exist, whether it is science or not, depends not on the argues, but on the practical results.  Whenever the China is so big, and whenever there are so many farmers in China, Chinese medicine will exist. My future job position is in the countryside, the rich people in the city need to find me in the countryside if they want to see me. Children in the village would tell them: “Doctor has been in the mountain to collect herbs in this mountain, but it is hard to know where she is, since the mountain is so deep and the cloudy is so heavy.”[15]

People come to see my daughter, actually with the aim for her to feel the pulse. She is very accurate. Everyday, she feel the pulses for more than fifty patients for one morning. Every others watch, when she feels for one. It is still an exam on spot for Chinese medicine. To get the trust from patients, you need to master the pulse feeling first.

It has surprised many people for my daughters pulse diagnosis. She felt the pulse, said to patient: “Your blood pressure is too low, you feel dizzy.” Patient cries: “You are wrong this time. I have high blood pressure, western medicine does not work for it, so I come for Chinese medicine…”  My daughter asked nurses to measure the blood pressure, twice, both showed low blood pressure.  She said: “You have already treated your high blood pressure into low blood pressure.” To another patient, she said: “Kidney stone, uterus fibrosis…” The patient did not believe, said she has no any feeling. My daughter asked her to have a check. She went back and shouted: “Yes, it is. All are correct. No any missed…”

Her master also felt surprise to her progression. He said he had many students before. There are many students who could not feel the pulse even they have had practiced for many years. Even for those who can apply the pulse diagnosis, no one could exceed my daughter. There are some classmates of her come to discussion and learn from her, but hardly understand how she could come into the core of this technique. One of her classmates, a best student in a Chinese medical university, followed her to her master to practice Chinese medicine. This student left after five days, since he felt hard to start the practice, felt as in a daze.

My daughter never conserves her feelings or experience from others. She said, Chinese medicine need many people to practice. I should share what I learned with others. But the colleagues usually had no feeling. My daughter said, the Chinese medicine is actually not so hard to learn. The problem is that people’s mind has been blocked by the current ways of thinking. A pulse already tells everything to you, but the doctor could not experience it. Once the feeling is blocked with iron coat, how could he feel the information that the pulse tells us?

The master said the trick is that my daughter’s heart was not contaminated.

My daughter became more and more calm and more and more honesty. Once she felt a pulse that she could not understand, she would think and think again. Her master noticed this, so he came to feel the pulse. He told the patient: “You practiced Qi Gong. Your disease comes from the Qigong practice. Your disease is also between the skin and the muscle. No herb can work. It is hard to cure.” The patient said he was practicing Yoga, there should be no harm, but he felt hard to eat, and spit libido… Her master smiled slightly and said: take medicine to try for a while.

At noon, my daughter invited her master for lunch. She asked how he found the reason for that patient. The master explained from the meridian point of view, so she understood it right away and felt clear in heart. Daughter told me, if we do not look at this disease from the meridian point of view, his disease is hard to diagnosis, and hard to explain. But from the pulse, he is sick, but it is different from others… Daughter said: perhaps, the meridian theory occurs just because there is need to explain such disease in a rational way.

In the morning, my daughter goes to her master to see patients, and in the afternoon, she comes back to western medicine hospital, follows surgery to operation rooms. On the chairs at home, there are string nods after she practices to tie the string for the surgical operation. The meat I buy home, will be first cut by her, then sew again.

She told me, no matter it is western medicine or the Chinese medicine, when come to a special level, they meet. The skillful specialist, when performs the operation, does not use the knife to peel, but uses his hands. He cut off the tumor or diseased mass with his feeling, without damage to surrounding tissues. Therefore, if it is the Great Master Hua tuo[16], who perform the operation, he would not use the modern surgical operation tools. That the surgical operation is not developed in Chinese medicine, is not due to the rejection by Chinese medicine, but stop by some reasons due to human. In the year AD 610, in a book << Zhu Bing Yuan Hou Lun >> wrote by Great master Cao Yuanfang et. al, it has described the surgical operations for intestine connection, artificial abortion, tooth pulling and so on, indicating that the surgery has been developed into a pretty high level at that time. But the ancient people must be hard to accept the surgery operation. The example for this is the General Cao Cao[17].  He even killed the doctor who proposed to do surgical operation for him. All in all, the development of Chinese medicine in China could also meet obstacle.  How the Chinese medicine develops is not only determined by the Chinese medicine doctors.  


Chapter 32: Explanation for Chinese medicine

My daughter told me not need to worry the current situation of Chinese medicine. She said, it is not easy to destroy the Chinese medicine. Someone wanted to stop the use of the Chinese lunar calendar. Do you think it is possible? It is impossible, since farmers need it to plants. Someone also asked to stop the use of Chinese characters. Do you think it is possible? Have a look at Japan and Korea, both of which stop to use the Chinese character but later restored the use of it, you would know. Under the condition that the China exists, there are farmers in China, the lunar calendar exists, and the Chinese character exists, it will be a wishful thinking to stop the Chinese Medicine. Of course, if China is purged by other countries, the invader passes a law to delete the Chinese medicine, then it can be said that the Chinese medicine dies. However, it only needs fifty years, the western medicine would realize the importance of Chinese medicine. At that time, it would be the western medicine that wants to learn the Chinese medicine. This is the necessary of history.

However, in clinic, it is difficult to communicate and discuss with those of patients who have had modern education. On one morning, a Chinese medicine doctor needs to see more than fifty patients. It is therefore impossible for them to explain the Chinese medicine in detail for every patient. It makes me laugh to pain in abdomen when my daughter told me how her master dealt with this problem. At the same time, I felt the hopelessness of the Chinese medicine. It is of course hard to understand Chinese medicine from the modern science point of view. 

However, my daughter think, the development of the western medicine is absolutely a promotion to the Chinese medicine too. A soldier without enemy is hard to keep his struggle power. I felt the change of Chinese medicine in my daughter’s hands. When my mother saw patients, she could only explain the disease and its symptoms from the Chinese medicine point of view. For my daughter, she can talk out the western medicine diagnosis term from the pulse feeling. She could even speak out the figures of the lab testing. This is again the achievement of her study in the western medicine. In the western medicine hospital, she felt the pulse when she needed to count the number of the pulse beat. She analyzed various parameters and data when she needed to write case history. This analysis was again cooperated into her Chinese medicine consideration. This makes her communication and conversation with patients much easier and fast. She said she would first be a qualified western medicine. It is not difficult to be a good western medicine doctor.

At home, she always holds ancient Chinese medicine books to read. She knows, current human have a misunderstanding in recognition. They think, no matter what theory or truth, people will understand upon explanation. If you can explain clearly, what you explained should be a “truth” that every people will accept. The reason that people cannot accept is because the explanation is not clear. Based on this misunderstanding, there are requests and augurs everywhere in whole country. Everywhere is the talking and explanation voice. People’s mouth does not grow there for vein. In fact, it is not broad for the scope of conversation among people. Even for chemistry, physics, math, are they communicable? Are they clear and easy to understand upon explanation? That man who practiced Yoga and got sick for that practice could not understand, is the Yoga a good exercise? How could it cause disease? He could not understand, there is precondition to say that Yoga is good health maintenance way. In the western countries, practice gym will not cause disease indeed. But if people practice Yoga in the same way as they practice gym, it is quite common that it causes disease.

It is not as easy as saying that you are cheating, when we come back to the understanding of Chinese medicine.

If we admit that Chinese medicine is cheating, who can tell how Chinese medicine cheats? Which western medical doctor can explain how Chinese medicine is cheating? My daughter said in smile, anyone who could explain and studied clearly the mechanism or ways by which the Chinese medicine is cheating, would be good Chinese medicine doctor. Therefore, we should learn hard the Chinese medicine. Since I was born in China and am a doctor in China, I cannot act as a doctor in the western countries to omit or avoid the Chinese medicine. This might be my responsibility as a Chinese doctor?

Since it is believed that a reason could be explained clearly, people should pay attention to listen. However, currently, no one wants to listen to another. All talk themselves. Chinese medicine is questioned. But did the people who question the Chinese medicine spend time to study what the Chinese medicine is? Did they sit down, listened the answers of Chinese medicine? It sounds also as some people blamed author Lu Xiun (Mr. Lu Xiun is a famous novel author in China history). But how many of them had read his books? The real Chinese medicine would not waste time to entangle with those who questioned Chinese medicine. So, those who questioned Chinese medicine felt victory and proud of themselves.

My mother never opposed western medicine. On the contrary, she looked and understood the western medicine from the TCM point of view. Many patients who came to see her had already visited the western medicine. She always asked the course the treatment by the western medicine, studies and pondered over the role of the western drugs in the body. Some times, she even got some drugs to have a taste by herself, as the famous Dr. Li Shizhen in Chinese history, to allocate the drug into different classes according to TCM. I saw clearly she used both western drug and the herbs at the same time. I thought, the rhinoceros horn, antelope's horn, musk used by minority, and longan, lychee kernel from south China sea, are all used by the Chinese medicine doctors in the mainland of China. The herbs produced in the Southeast of China also come into China for use in Chinese medicine. They all enrich the TCM herb usage by this way.  

Dr. Tang Zonghai believed that, the Chinese medicine and the western medicine, both has advantage and disadvantage. They should be mixed together. At the time he had clinic services, he also wrote two volumes of the book << Zhong Xi Guitong Yi Jing Jing Yi >>, based on the Chinese medicine theory, absorbed the anatomy and physiology etc. The book was published in year 1892, in which, there was charts of western anatomy. It is the earliest book combined the Chinese medicine and the western medicine. In year 1894, published was his another medical representative book << Zhong Xi Huotong Yi Shu Wu Zhong >>, which was sold in both China and out of China. Dr. Tang Zhonghai is the forerunner in combination of Chinese medicine and western medicine in both theory and practice. He was famous not only in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, but also in Indo-China, and south of China. Can you still say that Chinese medicine doctor cares their face very much?


Chapter 33: Chinese medicine styles

According to linear way of thinking, there would be only one correct way of treatment. Or, there is only one that is the best. This is as a man who plans to go to Beijing. In his mind, there is only the Jing-Guang line (Note: Jing-Guang line is the railway line between the Beijing city and the Guangzhou city in China). The memory and impression of the Jing-Guang line in his mind is very deep, though he also admits that every road to Roma (Beijing). From the traffic point of view, there will be many more choices. The road can be land road, but also sea road (by ship), and air road (by plane). The theory of western medicine is united, one. But the methods for the treatment can be multiple. Chinese medicine theory is the same for every doctor, but different doctor could have different way. Chinese medicine has various styles, such as “Fire style”, “Cold style”, “Depletion style”, “Soil style”, “Yin style”, and “Warm style”. There are further more different styles among the doctors within the same such big “style”.

People may feel strange, can the “Cold style” only treat fever, not cold disease? Will the patients with cold disease be treated to die by those doctors belongs to the “Cold style”? In the same reason, doctor of the “Fire style” will only treat patient with cold disease, other wise the use of herb Fuzi wouldn’t make the patients to die? My daughter said, even for surgical operation, different doctor has different style too. This means that, in making a comparison between different styles, the parameters as good, back, right, or wrong, does not work.

That many patients come to see my daughter and her master is with the aim to discuss the choice of treatment strategy. The result of each strategy depends on many conditions. Whether the strategy is good or bad, depends not only on the strategy per se, but also if the conditions it needed are available. If you go to western medicine, living in hospital, having surgical operation, spending 50,000 dollars to cure the disease, but you can also try Chinese medicine, living at home, drinking herbal tea, spending 500 dollars, with the disease treated to about 80% better, which strategy you would choose? To most of our Chinese farmers, they chose the second: the Chinese medicine.

The readers might say, well, the Chinese medicine appears not the best, since it cannot cure but only to some extent, though a large extent. My daughter is young, eager to cure disease, so she tends to use all of her means in the treatment. Though I told her that her grandmother only treated the disease to some extent during the treatment, to leave a space for the body to cure by itself, she said, under the current situation compared with the western medicine, Chinese medicine should not practice in this way. She pushes her master to do the best work in the treatment. For this, her master had a time with her for discussion.

Her master said, disease, has not only the manifestations but also the reasons. The reasons can be from outside of the body, but could also be from the inside of the body. What the doctor treated is usually the surface symptoms of the disease, but the reasons for the disease you may not be able to deal. For example, if it is due to the body constitution, would the doctor be able to change the body constitution? Under such condition, if the doctor wants to cure the disease, it would mean that he wants to change the body constitution, the source of the disease. It is not a wisdom for doctor to do so.

Her master told her, during the disease treatment, there should have some part of the disease left for the body itself to cure later. It means do not block the coming road of the disease, with the aim of leaving the road clear to see and to watch, making the disease has no another road to create. If we block the road that the disease comes, the disease, that is due to the body constitution, would create the second road. In clinic, the harm of the second road is strong than the first one, since the disease cannot create the second road, if it has no more energy to do so. For this, we need to leave a watching hole to it.

My daughter understands, but how the current public accepts this idea? Everyone wants the disease is cured, who would want to endure part of the disease remains in the body?  Therefore, it is not only difficult for the Chinese medicine and western medicine to combine in technique, it is also difficult in the treatment strategy. There is still a long way to go.

Someone say that the results of the western drug can not be explained by Chinese medicine. This is not correct. If this is true, Chinese medicine would have no way to accept the patients who have had treated by the western medicine. Nowadays, Chinese medicine cannot avoid consideration of the effect of western drug to the body. Many people who come to Chinese medicine doctor have already treated by the western medicine and used the western drugs. Chinese medicine needs to know the course of the treatment by the western medicine. Chinese medicine not only needs to know the effect of the western medicine drugs, but also the meridian the drug goes in the body. Otherwise, how Chinese medicine can solve the symptoms? Whenever my daughter asked and got the answer that the patient has used steroid medication, she would exchange eyes with her master, since both the master and his student believe that the use of steroid is to explore the Kidney Yin Jing. This is as the steroid has used the innate life energy of the body. The exhaust of the innate life energy is not easy to supply by later life treatment.

Speak about the effect of the western drug, even among the Chinese medicine, there are many styles or groups, they could understand each other, why Chinese medicine could not understand the western drug? Further more, there are, in Chinese medicine universities, quite much more hours in lectures on western medicine. Students master the lecture very well. There are many Chinese medicine students passed the exam to graduate program in the western medicine university. How can we say that Chinese medicine does not know the western medicine? It is in fact true that western medicine does not know the Chinese medicine.

No matter where my daughter goes, there are people discussing disease with her and stretching out their arm to her for pulse diagnosis. She told out the corresponding diagnosis terms in western medicine and urged patient to have a check in hospital. They came back with lots of lab test report, found her again, continued the discussion, listened to her suggestions for the treatment. She is doctor in the hospital and she is doctor out of hospital too. She can use the techniques in the hospital for detect. She can also not use them. She can even only use an acupuncture needle for the treatment without any herbs or drugs. If there is no any needle, she can use tuina or massage technique, to fulfill the responsibility of a doctor. Such a manner of medical service cannot be performed by the western medicine.


Chapter 34: Rule vs No rule

When talking about Chinese medicine, there is always saying that it is broad and deep, mysterious and miracle. I don’t agree with such saying somehow. What in the world that is hard to understand? Why make the Chinese medicine so wonderful? To be honest, I never believe that my mother is a clever woman. The wisdom of my daughter is also a middle level. As my father laughed at my mother: in old time, people who practiced Chinese medicine are those who failed in scholar exam of state, so could not be a officer, also had no ability to something else. For this, the social level of a Chinese medicine doctor is lower than the scholars. If the student is clever, can pass the exam, would be officer, whoever would be a Chinese medicine doctor? This means that it is not always the cleverest people who practice the Chinese medicine. Its knowledge does not need the cleverest people to understand.

Why it happens that the current people feel hard to understand Chinese medicine, so want to deny it? I think, this is due to the environment. It is due to the blockage between the generations. This is as to send the children who grow up in the city, go for farming in the countryside. They are not growing up in the environment of the countryside, the farmer, and even if they have the education in the agriculture university to a master degree, they anyway are not a farmer. There is a block of film between them in person and the farm work. The children growing up in the farm, could learn farming work without need to pay specific attention. The point is the environment.

Based on this point, I think that it is not a mysterious thing for old generation to create Chinese medicine theory, but a natural thing. If we ask a current person goes to the forest for hunting, most possibly he would be eaten by wolf. Hunting gun and long spear, used in hunting, which one contains highest technology, depends on how to compare them. It is not difficult to understand Chinese medicine if we put it back to the environment it was created and developed. Just as live among hunters, you only need to learn watch.

The modernization of Chinese medicine, to me, is as the modernization of farm. Currently, farmers use the seed developed by scientist Yuan Longping, and care the farm with the combination of the traditional and the modern technique in a perfect way. I noticed when an old Chinese medicine doctor told his students: it is “there is rule out of the formula, and there is formula, out of the rule.” I think this is as the farmer in farm work. What to plant and how to plant is the “formula”, but we have also to consider the whether, the dryness or flooring, such four seasonal rule. But, do we need to do things always according to the rule? If we have warm tent, we can grow the vegetables in winter too. Does this not mean that there is formula, out of the rule? Just based on this point, I support Chinese medicine, support its theory, but also western medicine. When my mother used western medicine and western drug, if she could understand it from the Chinese medicine point of view, it is ok. If not, she would use it as the formula out of the rule. How we could say that the rule of the western medicine can cover and dominate every disease, without any except? It does not have any formula out of its rule?

Because the soil that creates the Chinese medicine is far away, it makes us feel not so real. In fact, the soil to create the Chinese medicine is not only just under our feet, but also at this movement. Even the western medicine in this soil, there are also kind of difference from that in the western countries. No matter the western medicine admits or not, I feel that they are kind of localized taste.

Yesterday, I met a friend, who came back from Beijing. Her sun is now in Japan for studying and gets sick. The relatives in Japan called her in China, crying and choking with tears. They told her that her son’s illness is very severe, with whole body red and swelling. Doctor said that the patient would die with skin ulcer everywhere. They need to pay 150000 RMB[18] to allow her son live in ward in hospital. Heard this, the couple felt very urgent. It was not possible to them to Japan right away, so they arranged her son back to Beijing. This couple also hurried to Beijing to meet her son. I asked if the hospital her son went is a small one, he should go to a big one. She said it is in big hospital with more than 400 staff. Doctors there did lots of exams, and he brought back lots of detection reports. The president of the hospital had also taken care of his disease. It is the president who said his body would be broken with ulcer to die.   

The couple met their son in Beijing. They visited the hospital in Beijing soon. Doctor had a look at the skin and threw their registration book to them, said: “It is allergy. Stop all medications, live at home for two days, it would be all right.” Then doctor called: “Next one!” Such attitude made their son very angry: “How can you act as this, do you care human right? In other country, they cared me very much, the president saw me by him self. How could it be such in our own country?” The doctor felt strange and asked: “Hi, boy, what’s matter? Do you want to take some drugs? The reason for your disease is due to the taken of medication. It would not be cured without stop any medication!” The parents brought the son out, stop him to argue more. They then beg help from a friend to the No. 203 hospital for a specialist. The specialist did not pay too much attention to his disease either, but exchange the reports among colleagues with laughing. My friends do not know they themselves should laugh or cry. They brought the son traveling in Dalian for two days. The disease, as that doctor said, got well. Her son returned Japan.

Heard her story, I felt fun. To speak of the material conditions, the equipment and the way of training doctor, the Japanese is better than Chinese. How once comes into practice and in clinic, the doctor there acted so youth? I asked her if she consulted this question with the doctor in Beijing. She said, the doctor in Beijing said, in the western countries, the medical conditions are of course excellent, the number of the doctor is large, but they have no so many patients as we have in China. The number of patients allocated to each doctor is much less than to our doctors.  The doctor there had more book knowledge but less practical experience. How could the doctor there has as much as our doctor who is melted in the sea of patients everyday so has much more experience? After listening to her introduction, I thought, compared with the Japanese doctor who tends to separate patients into groups, our Chinese western medicine doctor tends to pay attention to the individual. This makes the western medicine in Chinese imperceptibly has the starting point as Chinese medicine, and appears more care about the experience. From this we can see, the land under our feet suits the development of experienced medicine.


                                                        (1)       (2)        (3)

[1] Here means everyone had something to do, either work in city, or go to countryside as farmer. The government would control where you go to live. Nowadays, people have to find job by themselves. So the worry about life is a reality.

[2] If you are a real Chinese medicine doctor.

[3] These are two kinds of herbal pills.

[4] Mrs. Bing Xin, (1900-1999), famous Chinese female writer.

[5] This means that, some Chinese medicine doctors, even most of them currently, prescribe their herbal formula according to the symptoms, not based on the Chinese medicine Yin-Yang and Five-element theory.

[6] In China, if a doctor is good at surgical operation, he is called a “knife”. Here, Li, Zhang and Zhao, is the family name of such famous doctor.

[7] Guoming Pary: the dominating political party in China before 1949. It tortured the members of Chinese communist party terribly after these members were caught.

[8] Comments for the translator: I disagree with the author here. The most important thing for the Chinese medicine society is to increase its own clinic ability. The clinic healing effects nowadays are much less than they should be, due to many reasons. The combination of the western medicine and the Chinese medicine should be a high level combination, not in an ordinary level Each medicine should continue its own development to its peak, and supply its best part to combine with the best part of the others. Otherwise, what you “combined” from the western medicine today, would be refused and rejected and denied even by the western medicine itself. This applies to western medicine drugs and also its surgery techniques. We should lay aside the topic of the combination of the western medicine and the Chinese medicine. Neither side is mature enough to “marry” another side yet, so you would be able to expect that their marriage would product healthy baby.

[10] Comment from the English translator: this comment by the author is questionable.

[11] Mrs. Dang Yinchao is the wife of previous premier Zhou Enlai in China.

[12] Jing formula: one of the herbal therapy styles in the Chinese medicine. It is believed to be one of the most important style, but it is no longer educated as obligation course in the current Chinese medicine school in China for various reasons.

[13] Big formula: herb formula with more than 20 herb ingredients and with large dose for the most ingredients, see, more than 30 gram for the most herbs. The dose of most herbs can even exceed 50 gram to 100 gram.

[14] Bethune, Henry Norman (1890-1939): Canadian surgery. He went to China during the second world war to help Chinese against Japanese invader. He later died in China during his duty in the battle field.

[15] This is a Chinese poem.

[16] Hua Tuo: Famous ancient Chinese medicine doctor.

[18] Chinese dollars.